I went through similar stuff with my parents and I do remember a dr explaining to me that people that age are unlikely to change their ways (probably after I’d expressed frustration about the situation), which was very hard to get my head around.

Could you stock the house up with microwaveable soups and meal packs (there’s a few companies that deliver). Hospitals also have social workers who can help, although if your dad is in the medical field I suspect he’d be resistant to ‘being told what to do’. Mine definitely was.

Could you enlist one of his mates or a rellie to have a quiet word? Or could your mum spend a bit of recovery time in a rehab place, if that’s an option?

I reckon you’re across all these things but just putting them out there. Sending healing thoughts for your mum and hugs for you - it’s such a difficult situation.