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blarghly@lemmy.world 6 days agoI have a feeling that you were a very horny teenager.
Lol, guilty as charged. And the horniness has not really abated. I never wanted to fuck a 50 year old, but I definitely had some teachers I woulda been stoked to shack up with.
But I think it’s weird that you seem to be saying that this is weird. I am well aware of the fact that people who are asexual or who have a low sex drive exist, and I think their sexuality (or lack thereof, as it may be) should be legitimized and supported. But at the same time, I find it hard to believe that most other people aren’t approximately as horny as I am. Outside of bots, the majority of internet traffic is porn. People spend billions of dollars on sex and sex-adjacent pursuits, from dildos to ED drugs to gym memberships to strappy sports bras to hair plugs. As the old Oscar Wilde quote goes - “Everything in the world is about sex…”
So when someone starts talking about “X is just because of sex” or “Y is the thing we care about because it isn’t about sex”, what I think is “yeah, sex is important. Of course that’s what we’re talking about.” And denial or push back starts to sound like “my puritanical sex-negative upbringing has trained me to be uncomfortable talking about sex, so I’m going to delegitimize sexual desire as a significant factor in any interaction.”
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 days ago
That’s why I have the pass on a one night stand, but if you think a healthy 7 year relationship can develop from sex alone, you’ve got a lot to learn about relationships.
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 6 days ago
As a counterpoint, I’ve been with my partner for 15 years, and we started as a one-night-stand. It’s backwards from how it usually happens, but he was particularly cool so I took him to breakfast the next morning, and then we got to know each other better. We became FWB, broke it off, dated other people, then got back together for real and haven’t quit since.
Yes, sex can’t be the only reason for love, but you can start there and find mutual interest after.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Fair enough, but was one of you 30 years older than the other? I’m not saying there aren’t healthy relationships with circumstances that might otherwise be a red flag.
Hell, when I first hooked up with my current wife, I was her direct supervisor at work. Big red flag there! We ended up breaking it off for the obvious complications, but ran into each other ten years later, tried again under new conditions, and are now happily married with quite the extended family.
But the combination of a teenager/early 20s and a middle aged person in a situation like those, is more than likely to be a dysfunctional unbalanced relationship.
blarghly@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Yeah, I mean, a relationship is based on liking and respecting each other - an interest and respect which can develop out of time spent interacting based on physical attraction. Beyond that, a relationship can take any form that the involved parties choose.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 6 days ago
When a repeat victim of domestic violence refuses to press charges against their partner, and continues to take them back, as is commonly seen in this scenario, do YOU personally think that is their “choice” (as in: they truly desire to remain in this situation forever) or that they would choose otherwise, but due to emotional trauma and manipulation, they are psychologically unable to get away?