Comment on do you think freewill truly exists?
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 4 weeks agoI’m afraid you’ve missed the point. Smalltalk is about maintaining and strengthening relationship, which involves knowing about each others’ lives and feelings. And it does double duty: taking the time to ask and listen is a way to express that the other person is important enough to you - i.e. to express love.
It’s not the only way, and many of us don’t do well at smalltalk, but it’s a valuable way. And,
your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk
Indeed! It means your thoughts have time for the other person’s life and feelings.
minorkeys@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
For many, small talk does not strengthen or maintain a relationship. It is something that works for some people. Others endure it for the sake of the one who does but it doesn’t hold the same role for them and is not a necessity to have a loving and healthy relationship for everyone. Just as we express and receive love differently, small talk doesn’t serve the same role in everyone’s life. If it does for you, that’s great, hopefully you’re getting what you need.
As for the double duty, that is true of all communication, whether small or not. As noted above, it may be an expression of love for some people, but it’s far from universal.
Not everyone finds the smaller, and often repetitive, experiences of their day to be important or valuable and people are perfectly capable of having time for the other person’s life and feelings without the focus being those topics or experiences.
It sounds like you value smalltalk in your life but may not accept that it isn’t as widespread as you seem to imply. I don’t doubt it does what you claim for yourself and others you know.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
You make a fair point. Perhaps it’s just the cultures I’ve lived in, though, but my impression is that the vast majority of people value some amount of what might be considered small talk. So for those of us who don’t take to it naturally (and I am also one who’s had to learn small talk… I’m okay at it in many situations now but not all) it’s probably worth having a feel for it for the sake of friendly relationships with many people around us.