Comment on How I discovered my partner was an undercover police officer sent to spy on me

• Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Roger Dutton sentenced a 25-year-old woman, Gayle Newland, to eight years in prison for pretending to be a man

  Soon: it was rape because I thought he was nice.

  If everything is rape, then nothing is.

  source

  • pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    consent doesn’t just mean “yes”… consent means informed consent… consent means non-coerced consent

    my state in australia has recently implemented some fantastic new laws around consent, and have done a really good job of defining some very grey areas

    respectvictoria.vic.gov.au/…/affirmative-consent

    specifically the section about when someone can not consent is relevant here. it covers things like coercion, feeling like you can’t withdraw consent, abuse of authority (ie covers workplace sexual harassment), age, asleep/unconscious (regardless of previous consent), AND most importantly:

    Despite what a person might like to hear, they haven’t received affirmative consent if: …

    • their partner cannot consent – including because of:
      • being mistaken about the identity of any other person involved

    and in case you think that’s too restrictive, the laws have widely been praised by the BDSM and kink communities - places where non-verbal consent is common… they cover a lot of ways people might consent, and also withdraw consent

    the issue with identity is that she would not have consented if she knew all the details - facts which the man kept from her, knowing that if she knew she would likely not consent

    and that’s key: to consent, you have to have all the information available at the time

    source
  • Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    You cant consent during deception. If your gf has aids and doesnt tell you, then you didnt consent. That is both the legal and culutral definition of rape.

    source

    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Giving someone aids isnt rape, it’s like saying “she shot me during sex so it must be rape”.

      source

      • Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Did you consent to getting shot? If it was during sex you have a case for rape.

        Rape does not mean a penis goes in a vagina unconsentually. Rape means you removed someones agency in a sexual fashion. That can mean you fingered them like our president(but not under new york state law, even though the judge admitted it was rape), or it can mean you tore their clothes off, or stuck something in them they didnt like, it can mean they took the condom off without you knowing, it can mean they said they are fixed when they are not.

        I just looked it up, you are correct. Knowingly transmitting hiv is not legally considered rape(except in some states), it’s its own crime. Most of the time a felony.

        source
    • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Unfortunately: not everywhere is a woman capable of raping a man legally

      source
  • Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Bud, what happens if you consent to something that didn’t actually exist?

    source