Comment on How I discovered my partner was an undercover police officer sent to spy on me

• Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  As horrible this is (as owl said) how do you figure out it is rape?

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  • Genius@lemmy.zip ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception

    False name, false life story, false reason for having sex with her. He had sex with her in order to spy on her.

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Roger Dutton sentenced a 25-year-old woman, Gayle Newland, to eight years in prison for pretending to be a man

      Soon: it was rape because I thought he was nice.

      If everything is rape, then nothing is.

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      • pupbiru@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        consent doesn’t just mean “yes”… consent means informed consent… consent means non-coerced consent

        my state in australia has recently implemented some fantastic new laws around consent, and have done a really good job of defining some very grey areas

        respectvictoria.vic.gov.au/…/affirmative-consent

        specifically the section about when someone can not consent is relevant here. it covers things like coercion, feeling like you can’t withdraw consent, abuse of authority (ie covers workplace sexual harassment), age, asleep/unconscious (regardless of previous consent), AND most importantly:

        Despite what a person might like to hear, they haven’t received affirmative consent if: …

        • their partner cannot consent – including because of:
          • being mistaken about the identity of any other person involved

        and in case you think that’s too restrictive, the laws have widely been praised by the BDSM and kink communities - places where non-verbal consent is common… they cover a lot of ways people might consent, and also withdraw consent

        the issue with identity is that she would not have consented if she knew all the details - facts which the man kept from her, knowing that if she knew she would likely not consent

        and that’s key: to consent, you have to have all the information available at the time

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      • Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You cant consent during deception. If your gf has aids and doesnt tell you, then you didnt consent. That is both the legal and culutral definition of rape.

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      • Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Bud, what happens if you consent to something that didn’t actually exist?

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  • owl@infosec.pub ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I agree with you. If being misleading is equal to rape, then this rule can easily be abused.

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  • Taleya@aussie.zone ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s sex under false pretences and deception. That’s a legally defined rape.

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• owl@infosec.pub ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  If a woman has sex with me (hypothetically) because she saw me wearing expensive clothes, but later it turns out they were cheap imitations, that would be misleading, but not rape.

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