Comment on Anon has his way

<- View Parent
Hacksaw@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

I understand that people in “casual” settings don’t generally understand kink, but the sub is the one with actual power in the dynamic and has to frame the encounter. Whereas most doms are pretty flexible in what tools is techniques they’re willing to engage in, it’s the sub’s boundaries that generally frame the encounter. Especially in “casual” scenes where it’s more likely that none of the sub’s asks are out of bounds for the dom.

Kink is about exploring fetishes in a safe way that’s enjoyable to all participants. This type of “rough sex” often including breath play isn’t as casual as most participants believe. If you’re a sub and that’s your fetish then it’s best for everyone involved to get more serious about Safe Sane Consensual sex.

It’s the same problem as 50 shades of grey where someone with a Dom/sub fetish engages in dangerously unsafe and non-consensual sex but it’s “sexy” coded in the movie. In real life the kind of guy that would break past all your boundaries and do perform violent sex acts whether you wanted it not is a violent, dangerous person. In an SSC setting, these encounters are negotiated ahead of time (and more subtly during the scene), openly and without an unbalanced power dynamic.

source
Sort:hotnewtop