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So your saying that buying a house, which shows stability, maturity, and possibly protection, might make you more appealing to the opposite sex? Yeah that is definitely weird. Women that are looking to settle down definitely are not interest in that kind of nonsense.

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rabber@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
It just doesn’t sit right with me after being friendzoned just prior. Obviously buying a house makes me substantially more attractive yeah

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- JohnnyMac@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Maybe she’s a gold digger in this instance. Who’s to know…
  
  But for sure the idea of “me” changes over time. You’re probably not who you were 20 years ago, or 10 years ago, or 5 years ago. And not wh you’ll be in 10 years from now.
  
  Relationship dynamics change. Things that are attractive change as we change. Maybe you see it as just the house as her reasoning, and maybe it is. But maybe your discounting other changes. Maybe you’re taking better care of yourself. Maybe you smell better. Maybe you’re showing more maturity elsewhere. Maybe youre in a better headspace with enough time after divorce. Maybe it’s none of the above and something else just clicked and changed the way she saw you. Perception is fluid with how we feel about ourselves. Maybe she’s moved on from something in her life. She’s a complex set of neurons as well.
  
  But, say “love me for me”, when “me” changes all the time, and often the current me might not even like themselves (as is often the case for many of us) ignores the outward projections and subtleties that we all emit as signs of good partners and mates. were animals, if we want to attract mates we need to emit things that are worth being attracted to (and is more complex than just looks)
  
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  - rabber@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    This is really well said. Thanks
    
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  - iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Hear, hear.
    
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