Comment on Anon self-improves

• KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I think it’s the opposite, she’s a relationship anarchist and I can’t cope with this kind of relationship and how seemingly little importance I have in her life sometimes. I could do poly with a primary partner, but not RA.

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  • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    relationship anarchist

    Man, people these days will do absolutely anything that can to shrug off any commitment or intimacy with their partner. I wouldn’t even try to date a RA, that sounds miserable, dude.

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    • valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I mean you can be heavily invested in a relationship as a relationship anarchist.

      The anarchy part is that you do not take for granted how a relationship should be structured and that you are open to have very unique and consensually agreed upon aspects in your relationship.

      If you want commitment and reliability and loyalty you can for sure ask for it and name it as something that is essential for your relationship and if they do not give it to you it might just be best to split ways.

      Of course I understand that there will be people who weaponise relationship anarchy to just do whatever the fuck they want to and rationalise/justify their behaviour but I think the concept isn’t condemnable per sé. There are also people who weaponise therapy speak to gaslight and I wouldn’t want to generally talk bad about therapy.

      Just wanted to give a counterpoint because I think engaging with relationship anarchy and for example looking at a smorgasbord can even help monogamous people to figure out what is important to them and what they want.

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      • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Sounds like an unnecessary way of complicating simpler and more universal concepts like “communication” and “healthy boundaries” to me. It’s really cool if a couple comes to terms with their own personal desires in a relationship but I don’t see why we have to shove political philosophy into it.

        “I don’t want to do dishes”

        “No, you’re a modernity anarchist fighting heteronormativity!”

        Please

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      • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I consider myself relatively traditional in my relationship views, even as an atheist, but I also just talk to my partner and we figure out what makes us both happy with each other and ourselves. How is this any different from “relationship anarchy” without carrying the baggage of describing my personal relationship with political philosophy? I’m a guy and I like some traditionally feminine things like cooking and sewing, but I don’t think I’m “smashing the patriarchy” for it.

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    • KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah, it’s pretty weird and fucked up IMO.

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