I agree with you when you say “it’s who you are”.

Do you not see a situation where someone is born and believes themselves gay (the reasons why they would think this are numerous, almost as numerous as the countless reasons people think they are straight growing up) and then after living as a gay person they come to understand themselves better and recognise that they are actually fairly straight?

I’m not saying that’s what’s going on here, it sounds very sad and basically someone just heading back to the closet to avoid shitty people and shitty society. But questioning someone who says they are straight, or gay or bi or enby or ace or whatever, is flawed. They may be lieing, they may be confused, hiding, virtue signalling. But you don’t get to call them bi just because they said and behaved as if they were gay and now say and behaving as if they are not. Someone who used to have sex and now says they are ace isn’t lying, or wrong or akchewally…

I don’t want this to come off as hostile, I get why you are asking. It’s a complex topic and I might be wrong.

I think I’m explaining myself alright, but I’m open to discussion