Every piece of this advice is absolutely brilliant and thoughtful. I’m really glad that you took the time to type it up. I think the diarrhea joke is hilarious and it would totally break the ice with me. It’s a hell of a first impression and it would definitely live in my head for a long time. The only thing I would add besides knowing your audience is that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person that kind of takes some of the pressure off of you and in my experience I’ve found that to be very true.
If there’s any young people reading this, I want you to take notice of what just happened here. Perception becomes reality…except it’s not reality.
People thought this guy was just SO popular, that he was too busy for them. Which means in reality, he wasn’t popular AT ALL. Nobody wanted to be his friend, because everybody assumed he was too important to be their friend. The only people who were his friends are the ones who tried.
This works with dating too. There’s women of all ranges of looks. Some women are just born so naturally beautiful that they become intimidated to even TRY to talk to her. Everybody thinks she’s out of their league, and that’s total bullshit. If a person think they’re out of your league because of looks, they’re right. They’re totally below you. BUT there’s also people who OTHER people assume she’s out of their league, and all she’s doing is waiting to be asked out. Nobodys asking her out, because everybody thinks she’s going to turn them down, and what ends up happening is you can get some real Homer and Marge situations.
Because let’s be real. Marge could do SO MUCH better than Homer. I realize that because of the way animation works, they’ve had to retell the way Homer and Marge met and retcon the previous versions. But no matter which version you pick, Homer as always been an overweight buffoon with no real qualities to endeeer himself to Marge. But he TRIED. Sometimes that’s enough. You just go up to whomever you have a crush on, and just, go for it.
And maybe they will turn you down. I’m not implying that every time you flirt with someone it will go well just because you tried. There’s a whole list of variables to take into account that you can’t possibly know before you try. The end result will be maybe she’s just not that into you. Or maybe she is. You don’t know until you try. I know so many people who “got the girl”, whom everyone is baffled by, simply because they were the only one who asked.
So just come up with a funny little pickup line. Something cheesy. Cheesy is good. The pickup line isn’t what’s going to win her over. You’re what’s going to win her over. The pickup line just measures her level of interest. If she’s giggling at your little pickup line, it’s not because the cheesy pickup line was that good. It’s because YOU are that good to her. The pickup line is just a measuring stick of her interest. So don’t worry about the perfect pickup line. Just a funny cheesy one. Preferably one she’s never heard before.
One thing I will say, is that it has to be “girl funny”. To me, the funniest pickup line ever is telling her in a totally straight deadpan voice, “My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in…”
To me, that’s hilarious. That SHOULD be a great pickup line. It’s not. Don’t use that one. You’ll get gross looks, as if you actually are holding back from shitting yourself. So maybe don’t include feces in your pickup lines.
Yamainwitch@lemmy.world 1 week ago
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 week ago
Incredibly true and good advice.
It’s actually how I bagged the most beautiful woman I ever dated when I was younger.
However, there’s other aspects of it, too.
She stopped talking to me after about two months, and I spent years wondering how I fucked up.
Years later, when she was with someone else we would reconnect and she admitted that it was actually because I was the first man who had actually wanted to know what was on her mind and respected her as an intelligent and thoughtful woman, and she really didn’t know how to handle it, nor did she feel like she deserved it. She had been pushed to be a traditional blonde cheerleader type, but by college, when I met her, she was finally trying to break out of that mold that really never fit her well. She would go on to further admit that she used to drive by my place and wonder how I was doing, and this was after I had moved, so she had found out my new place from a mutual friend.
It was a head rush to find out. She still lives in my head as “the one who got away.” I’m not really sure there’s much else to boost a guys self esteem than to know he was being stalked by a smart, thoughtful and stunningly beautiful woman.
Anyway, point being, those beautiful women may really not be what they look like on the outside, too. They might be a lot more like you than you think.
Hope she’s doing well these days.