Comment on How important is flirting within the dating scene?

hendrik@palaver.p3x.de ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

• FatTony@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  But how are they supposed to find out if it’s just a nice conversation, or if I want to meet them again, or if I want to go on a date with them? If I’m having a friendly chat with someone and I suggest we meet again in a different setting, wouldn’t that be a clear enough sign?

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  • Redacted@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It is not. That is just friendship.

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  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.de ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I'd say yes. That'd be a clear sign. And bordering on what I'd call flirting. If you say "Hey, I really enjoyed that conversation, let's meet for a coffee some day, how can I text you?"

    It'd be the wrong kind of flirting for a one-night-stand. But in my opinion a very good way to convey the right thing.

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    • FatTony@lemm.ee ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      If you say “Hey, I really enjoyed that conversation, let’s meet for a coffee some day, how can I text you?”

      When given chance, this is basically the way I go about it. Just a quick on-the-side question: How quickly do you usually suggest something like that?

      And bordering on what I’d call flirting.

      What would you call flirting?

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      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        Just a note about flirting, communication, and fear of rejection.

        If you’re being subtle in a conversation to avoid coming on too strong and form a relationship… don’t be. Any relationship you form by cloaking your personality will weaken when you reveal your true self.

        The goal in dating shouldn’t be to form a relationship, it should be to form a good relationship. Jumping into a bad relationship that you just barely work in is going to waste your time and cause a lot more grief than anything else.

        If my advice is a bit surprising that’s fair - there’s a reason the divorce rate is so high among young couples and you really don’t want to go through that experience.

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      • hendrik@palaver.p3x.de ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

        I don't know why everyone else here says "No." Maybe it's down to preference. I usually like people not just for their outer appearance, but for their intelligence, wits, humor, similar perspective on life... And it just takes time to talk about all of that. So I rather keep it down with being suggestive and just let things play out. Took me a long time. But everyone is different.

        I'm not sure if I have a good definition of flirting. I'm more a problem-oriented person. I do whatever gets the job done. If I want to meet someone again, I just tell them that. And I usually don't have any ulterior motives. And I'm currently not in the dating game, so I'm pretty much relaxed on parties and social events in that regard.

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  • kat@orbi.camp ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Nah, just means you enjoy somebody’s company. Not strictly romantically. If anything, being direct is probably best if your not skilled with proper flirting.

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  • Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe ⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    No.

    Yes.

    Depends on context, and the non-verbal signals you give.

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