Comment on guys .002 seconds after learning about the "male loneliness epidemic"

• otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Honestly? It sounds like you’ve cultivated genuine caring for (and in turn, care from) those you hold a deep love for: your chosen family, “ohana”. The whole “next stage of life” thing is a packaged product that was sold to you (and all of us) from birth and I, for one, feel that your earnest, meaningful efforts to not only establish but personally tend to those close relationships deserves a kinder critique than always comparing it to the Happy Meal that never turns out like “as seen on TV!” — sorry, spoilers! 🤪

  No, but seriously. Fuck that dream-sapping bullshit. You are the universe experiencing itself. Breathe that in. ✊🏼

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  • Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Yeah, but I just wanna do what my mother did find love and try to build a family.

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    • Beetschnapps@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      You are not wrong. But society isn’t perfect.

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• Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  May I ask what steps you take to try and meet a partner? I’m asking because I’m pretty lonely too but that’s because I actually never go out and meet people these days. Unfortunately most people have the idea that starting relationships in the workplace is not the way to go, even though you spend 90% of your life there. So you have to go out to clubs and pubs and shit and actually meet and mingle with strangers. Honestly I’m not sure what other options there are besides the workplace or clubbing.

  I think that maybe something that is failing the always online Z generation (besides the toxic ‘manosphere’) is dating apps. They seem to be a bust and need to be ditched. Those apps are just there to harvest your data and make a buck from you. If they were to actually help you find love, then that company would lose a customer and source of data or income.

  So I don’t know what else to say other than, you need to actually go out and meet new people in order to potentially meet your person. And it also helps grooming yourself a bit, making sure to shave the neck beard and chin strap and looking like someone that is actually capable of taking care of themselves. That goes a long way in showing potential partners that you’re not just looking for another mother to take care of you. And also, find a style and own it. You don’t need to follow fashion trends, just look for a subculture or something that you vibe with and can feel confident wearing.

  Just note, not trying to judge or anything. I actually don’t know, maybe you’re a party animal with an awesome dress sense lol. Just trying to throw a few ideas out there for you.

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  • Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    It is just meet a lot of people. I live in a small town. I’m not very outgoing and the kind of women I get along with are problably also not that outgoing so the % chance of meeting + getting something done is very small

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    • Zero22xx@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Haha that reminds me of a conversation I was having with a friend once upon a time where I said something like: “I just want to meet someone that wants to spend Saturday night at home watching series and smoking a joint. But that person for me probably doesn’t exist.” And my friend responded with “Nah, they do exist but they’re busy spending Saturday nights at home watching series and smoking a joint, so you’ll never meet.”

      Also, small towns fucking suck and this is not a generational thing. You’re stuck between a rock and hard place where the same people who are telling you about the ‘bro code’ and enforcing it on others, are all playing musical chairs with each other’s boyfriends and girlfriends because the dating pool is so small.

      If there’s another piece of advice I could give you, fuck the bro code. None of these assholes will follow it themselves when the opportunity comes up for them and you’ll be the only idiot trying to stay ‘honourable’. Very few people that you ever meet have never dated someone before, so you’re going to be always breaking the code anyway whether you like it or not. And in a small town, you can’t afford to pass up opportunities for the sake of assholes that you’ll probably not even be friends with 10 years from now.

      Also, I don’t know if you saw my edit but I can’t say this enough. Keep the heavy shit about marriage and children to yourself. Keep it light. Coming on too strong is the biggest romance killer. Try to put that shit out of your mind until much later in the relationship, if you can.

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      • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        Side note: I once asked a local in a certain small, tourist-favorite island community what the “dating scene” is like (mainland only via ~2hr ferry or private air/water craft), and they replied: “Well, some ‘ship it in’ with visitors ferried over now & then, but mostly? We just wait our turn.”

        I’d lived on the island for several months by then, and I noped the fuggout mere weeks later. Ain’t nobody gonna find Love fishing in that mud puddle — especially if it’s still warm from the last go. 😶

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