I know how you feel… My Dad has chosen to not be an active participant in my adult life. He’s met my son once in 11 years. He only lives 20 minutes away, in the same town as my mum (his ex wife). It’s taken alot for me to get over feeling like I’m not good enough for him. He has a great relationship with one of my brothers but not me and the other two. Many of my own therapy sessions have determined he is probably neuro diverse but that’s not an excuse. In the community people speak highly of him, but we haven’t had a conversation in 20 years. I’m a good person, who does good things and I’m worth his time and effort, but apparently I’m not. But I’ve got to be okay with that. We’ll survive this, and worse, because we know our worth, and we give love freely unlike our fathers.