Iâm so sorry, Baku. hugs
Comment on Daily Discussion Thread: đ¤šââď¸ Thursday, 16 January, 2025
Baku@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
I got bad family news in early November. Another death. It was somebody else that I never got to meet, but was directly and quite closely related to me
Iâve been thinking about it for a few months, and have even brought it up with my psych, but nothingâs really helped. Itâs weird because I know that Iâm meant to feel something, and indeed do feel something, but itâs unidentifiable and not overwhelming emotion
Apparently 2 days before he died, he tried to get in contact with me through child protection. Because of bureaucracy, I didnât find out about it until over 2 weeks later. That made it worse. Nobody knows what the message was, but trying to contact me was one of the last things he ever did :/
Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
Baku@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
Thanks Llab đŤ
Seagoon_@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
Iâm so sorry , thatâs really tough
Baku@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
Thanks seagoon âĽď¸
SituationCake@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
So sorry to hear that. Iâve also had the experience of finding out direct relatives Iâve never met had died. I never feel anything except maybe a curiosity about who they may have been, would we have got along. But nothing more personal. They were a stranger. I donât think sharing DNA means anything, really. Itâs knowing people and interacting that has meaning. But also, I never had any expectation that we would ever meet, so that probably affects my take on things. Knowing you closely missed out on a meeting would be more difficult. There would a sense of loss if it were me. Hope you can work through it and feel OK.
Baku@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨days⊠ago
Thanks cake, I appreciate it âĽď¸
Another layer of complexity is that I honestly donât know if I wouldâve accepted, had I gotten the message earlier. Obviously if I knew Iâd soon lose the opportunity, I would, but otherwise, it wouldâve taken a lot of rationalising and deciding, and maybe months before I would have made a decision. And I probably wouldâve chosen not to meet or contact him
Thereâs some other familial stuff going on to where even now I donât know if his intentions were good, what sort of person he was or life he led, and if it was a genuine request, or intended to cause drama. That adds a bit of guilt for thinking that way