Iām so sorry, Baku. hugs
Comment on Daily Discussion Thread: š¤¹āāļø Thursday, 16 January, 2025
Baku@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
I got bad family news in early November. Another death. It was somebody else that I never got to meet, but was directly and quite closely related to me
Iāve been thinking about it for a few months, and have even brought it up with my psych, but nothingās really helped. Itās weird because I know that Iām meant to feel something, and indeed do feel something, but itās unidentifiable and not overwhelming emotion
Apparently 2 days before he died, he tried to get in contact with me through child protection. Because of bureaucracy, I didnāt find out about it until over 2 weeks later. That made it worse. Nobody knows what the message was, but trying to contact me was one of the last things he ever did :/
Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
Baku@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
Thanks Llab š«
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
Iām so sorry , thatās really tough
Baku@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
Thanks seagoon ā„ļø
SituationCake@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
So sorry to hear that. Iāve also had the experience of finding out direct relatives Iāve never met had died. I never feel anything except maybe a curiosity about who they may have been, would we have got along. But nothing more personal. They were a stranger. I donāt think sharing DNA means anything, really. Itās knowing people and interacting that has meaning. But also, I never had any expectation that we would ever meet, so that probably affects my take on things. Knowing you closely missed out on a meeting would be more difficult. There would a sense of loss if it were me. Hope you can work through it and feel OK.
Baku@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØmonthsā© ago
Thanks cake, I appreciate it ā„ļø
Another layer of complexity is that I honestly donāt know if I wouldāve accepted, had I gotten the message earlier. Obviously if I knew Iād soon lose the opportunity, I would, but otherwise, it wouldāve taken a lot of rationalising and deciding, and maybe months before I would have made a decision. And I probably wouldāve chosen not to meet or contact him
Thereās some other familial stuff going on to where even now I donāt know if his intentions were good, what sort of person he was or life he led, and if it was a genuine request, or intended to cause drama. That adds a bit of guilt for thinking that way