Nefara
@Nefara@lemmy.world
- Comment on Should you look for a relationship if it feels like a compromise? 2 days ago:
It can be a healthy way to have a relationship as long as you’re honest with your partners. Don’t promise them the moon and eternal love. Don’t lie about your intentions. Keep up with STD testing and use protection obviously.
There are people out there looking for friends with benefits and are happy to find a regular partner who respects consent, takes feedback and is a known quantity. There are also aromantic people out there who are happy to have a purely physical relationship. There’s someone for everyone. Finding that kind of relationship might have its challenges but the internet helps with that at least.
- Comment on Not stealing 4 days ago:
My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.
- Comment on what are the grievances with the "male loneliness epidemic"? 5 days ago:
You might not be identifying reasonable feminists then, because the “men are trash” ones are more visible. You’re probably surrounded by feminists and encountering them all the time, but unless you’re asking them their stance about reproductive rights or equality in parental leave or something else in conversation you wouldn’t know it.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 5 days ago:
I imagine for OP it was a bit like picking up a salve for a rash in the pharmacy and realizing it says “homeopathic remedy” on the side.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 5 days ago:
I just picked up a book called Unfuck Your Boundaries. It’s written by a trauma therapist but the style, if you can’t guess from the title, is very casual and easy to read. I am still reading it, so I can’t give a full review, but it’s approachable and entertaining while covering the fundamentals.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 5 days ago:
Faith in others or trust in others has absolutely nothing to do with thinking there’s an invisible, ultra powerful person just chilling somewhere in space just because someone wrote a book about it 2000 years ago.
- Comment on what books about personal boundaries do you know that don't mention god? 5 days ago:
Why do you fear Batman?
- Comment on [deleted] 1 week ago:
I’ve had this kind of situation in my life, I helped out my mother around the house when I was young and home from school, and I took care of my grandmother when she needed someone in the house. I’m now a stay-at-home mom so I can say I genuinely do get the appeal.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself though, and really consider your answers.
What are your life goals? If you knew you were going to die in a month, what would be the first things that came to mind that you would be sad you didn’t accomplish? Does your current path lead to these things?
What is your plan for when your dad’s current financial situation changes? If he loses his job or business, if he retires, do you have other means of making an independent income or other people in your life you could make similar arrangements with?
Do you have any of your own income, money, or savings tucked away? If something happened between the two of you, do you have options to get out?
What sort of preparation do you have for if something suddenly happened to your dad, like in the event of an accident or heart attack? Are you in his will? On the deed/lease? Do you have a joint bank account? Are you a beneficiary of his life insurance?
Do you want a romantic relationship, partnership, or kids? If so, what steps are you taking to make that happen, and how would that fit in to your current situation?
What sort of social or support network do you have? Do you have friends who would let you stay with them if you needed it? Do you have people in your life you can connect to and who will give you outside perspectives?
Domesticity can be alluring because you’re directly improving the lives of people you love, can make your own schedule, you’re not selling your soul to a corporation etc, but it’s extremely easy for the situation to go bad. There are so many ways people have been trapped, isolated, abused, or suddenly found themselves in changing circumstances that turn a good thing into a personal hell. The day to day of things can make a decade go by before you realize you never took that trip or learned that skill or made that thing.
Don’t just try to make your answers fit your current situation just because change is uncomfortable. If this lifestyle appeals to you there’s nothing wrong with that, just make sure you have your own contingencies. Make plans, make friends, have your own savings.
- Comment on Have you encountered this? 2 weeks ago:
That would be quite optimistic, but this is something I’ve noticed at multiple restaurants myself. I saw the tip “suggestions” were not accurate so I checked to see what numbers they might have been using and tried the after tax amount etc, but nope the numbers are just inflated artificially. It’s happened with or without alcohol on the tab, with and without sale items, and I don’t ever really get anything “comped” unless it’s a sauce on the side or something. I wouldn’t say it’s a scam, but I did roll my eyes the first time I noticed it.
- Comment on What game sequel ruined a beloved franchise or character for you? 3 weeks ago:
I don’t think that’s a fair assessment of Guild Wars 2. It was not a true sequel to Guild Wars 1 but it’s a decent game in its own right. I can see that if you’re playing a great city builder game and they announced a sequel, you would be thrown if that sequel was a 4x instead. But in this analogy, it’s a damn good 4x and maybe even the best amongst its contemporaries. Plus the original game is still there in all of its charm and originality, they’ve kept the servers running this long and seem to plan on keeping on doing so until no one is playing.
- Comment on What are the best free mmorpgs for a beginner? 5 weeks ago:
Yep absolutely seconding this one. Everything is very much a play-as-you-want playground, with many ways to level and a low stress, community based world. Pretty much everything that causes friction against other players in other MMOs (kill stealing, limited resource mining, open world pvp etc) just isn’t in the game or in its own little spot.
I will say that it has a lot of complexity and systems on systems that have built up over time that can be opaque and overwhelming. But again, you have the choice not to engage, and can do perfectly well running your character around maps exploring and picking cabbages and pumpkins and doing whatever you think looks interesting. Just remember to change out your armor and weapons every few levels on your way to 80.
- Comment on Vintage gaming advertising pictures: a gallery 1 month ago:
Kolanaki linked it above. It’s a disgusting crusty gamer den implying the game is so addictive you’ll live in filth. I remember that image being on the first couple of pages of a PC Gamer issue from the late 90s or early 00’s.
- Comment on Vintage gaming advertising pictures: a gallery 1 month ago:
I remember seeing these ads as an impressionable young gamer and getting the idea that Playstations had games that were scary and weird, and Nintendo games and handhelds were for boys. Generally the ads told me “this is not for you”. Because I only ever saw ads for specific PC games and never for PCs themselves, (they were aimed at adults, not in the kind of magazines and comics young me was perusing) even though I was still not the target market it clicked more with me. I think that might be a part of why I’ve only really gotten into PC games over the years. I knew there were games I’d like and games I wouldn’t, and never got the same platform level messaging
I remember seeing an ad for Thief and thought it looked cool, and I remember being super grossed out by that Quake 3 ad, but I never felt unwelcome or out of place playing PC games. The focus on marketing to young males is really obvious in these console ads.
Examples of some PC game ads I remember working for me and led to me getting them:
cdn.mobygames.com/…/18308445-thief-the-dark-proje…
- Comment on is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal 1 month ago:
I know in my case I was open to relationships with women but dating men was so much easier it just never happened. On the outside it seems I’m hetero because that’s all anyone would see.
- Comment on How do you think early humans survived without water bottles? Did they just live next to water sources all the time? 2 months ago:
Yes, humans used to live much closer to water sources. On a town level, if you didn’t have a creek or river nearby you just didn’t settle there. Available water was absolutely necessary for domestic animals, cooking, washing, and of course drinking. On a personal level, you would go in the morning to a central well or water source and gather your water you would need for the day. Depending on the household needs it might be multiple trips with heavy, full vessels. You would put the water in to household water vessels, like a basin for cleaning or a ewer for washing or your cook pot. If you were thirsty at home, you would take a dipper (basically a ladle) and take some water from the household supply.
Where did you get the impression we didn’t used to have water bottles? They weren’t made of plastic or metal but humans have carried water with them for probably as long as we’ve used tools. You can carry water in drinking horns, in clay pots, wooden buckets, in dried out animal bladders or leather skeins, and there’s literally a type of gourd called a “bottle gourd” which has been dried out and used as a personal water bottle for milennia across any region that can grow them. Don’t underestimate human ingenuity, we didn’t always have access to the same technology and materials but we have always been able to problem solve. - Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
It’s pretty common to wish to be a woman and not have gender dysphoria. I’d bet something like half of all humans experience this.
- Comment on What is your favorite indie game? 3 months ago:
Banished, you can’t get more Indie than just one guy’s passion project.
I don’t know what it is about that game but it really struck a chord with me and I’ve come back to it over and over. It’s my favorite game to play when I’m sick and can’t do anything. It’s relaxing and peaceful and cozy while also being complex and ruthlessly challenging at the same time, so it’s like spinning plates. Seems easy when you get the hang of it but it can all come crashing down if you make a bad enough mistake. It’s spawned some copy cats, and I’ve tried them, but the original just gets me somehow.
- Comment on What's the point in getting married? 4 months ago:
This exactly. It’s an easily recognizable legal shortcut to a bunch of systems, rules and privileges that apply to the situation of two people wanting to live their lives together. Doesn’t have to cost much, if anything, and doesn’t have to have anything at all to do with religion or rituals. Can be just two people showing up at the town hall if you want it to be.
- Comment on OG Guild Wars sees an all-new Steam concurrency high during its anniversary celebration | Massively Overpowered 4 months ago:
It’s definitely not Guild Wars 1, but it does still have a “low level cap” in the way that it’s extremely easy to get to max level doing a variety of content, then the vast majority of content is done at that level. You probably reach level 80 within completing about 5%-10% of the total available content, so it’s just a number. The way you “advance” your character is through gear and cosmetics, and there’s an account leveling system called masteries you unlock at 80.
- Comment on OG Guild Wars sees an all-new Steam concurrency high during its anniversary celebration | Massively Overpowered 4 months ago:
As a long time fan and proud GWAMM, honestly it doesn’t need the “classic” treatment. It’s still online, and the last major content patches didn’t change anything significant enough to alter the gameplay in a way that would make people “miss the old days”. They added some end game content and some quality of life improvements and some tools that allowed players to more easily solo content, then left well enough alone. It still has a small core of regular players, and has the event schedule going on auto. I suppose they could do some graphical improvements but it’s still a very good game as it is
- Comment on Thought others might want to know too 🤷🏻♀️ 4 months ago:
Considering how famously hard to kill werewolves are, it would probably have to be a chocolate wrapped in silver and then eaten with the foil on to do any real harm.
- Comment on Are there any games you don't play as it was intended to be played? If so, what game and how? 4 months ago:
For a while, I played the MMO Guild Wars 2 as a music simulator. It has playable in game musical instruments that you can equip, and play with the number keys. A-G are represented as numbers 1-8 with 9 and 0 swapping an octave lower or higher. Killing monsters? Doing dungeons? Raids and world bosses? Nah I’m just chilling in a beautiful forested cliffside near a waterfall figuring out an arrangement for the Lord of the Rings theme.
- Comment on Zoomies Cat Racing Demo Gameplay 4 months ago:
Cute idea, but disappointed that it’s just a reskinned car racing game. I read the title and I imagine a “cat scale” racer, running around indoors having to jump sofa arms and climb cat towers or doing an obstacle course in someone’s yard, going under bushes and through kids forts etc. Just realizing now a cat parkour game like Mirror’s Edge would be good silly fun.
- Comment on Quick, what's your secret TP flipping tips? 5 months ago:
Whenever I’ve needed a big chunk of cash, I make a legendary and sell it. That won’t work for everyone but at least at the rate I go through money it sets me up for a long time and makes the effort worth it. Another option for slow and steady progress is flax farming. Park a bunch of alt characters at the circle in Mount Maelstrom with reaper’s sickles and then sell vials of linseed oil. For the effort and time it’s a good return.
- Comment on What MMORPG are you playing, and why? 8 months ago:
By Droknar’s hammer, what a savings!
- Comment on What MMORPG are you playing, and why? 8 months ago:
Been playing GW2 since beta, but haven’t been that active since I had my a baby. I’ve played thousands of hours, have over 40k AP, was even mildly famous in the community for a bit, but I just haven’t had the time for any games lately. It’s still my favorite though, I love the art, the music, the player centric design and how they really try to make a fun experience and not waste your time. I tried Star Trek Online because I heard they had screen writers from the shows writing some of the content, and had enough fun to max a couple of characters and upgrade a ship or two and then they raised the level cap on me and made it all obsolete. I quit. I have no patience to put up with that kind of crap. I’ve been spoiled by GW2’s design philosophy, and they’ve proved worthy of my trust and time. I recommend it to anyone looking for an MMO.
- Comment on What do you call your first cousin's child? 10 months ago:
Your grandmother’s sister is your grandaunt, and you use grand and great the same way you do for mother/father but with aunt/uncle.
So I think your fourth cousin twice removed was on the Thresher but someone may correct me.
- Comment on How do I get my clothes to smell like I just bought them at the store? 10 months ago:
They use some rather consumer unfriendly chemicals, like formaldehyde as others said, but also things like flame retardants, pest deterrents, anti molding agents etc to preserve the clothes if they’re stored improperly. You should ALWAYS wash new clothes before wearing them, even ignoring the possibility of others having tried them on. Maybe consider another scent for your clothes.
- Comment on What's a good gift for a 2-year old? 10 months ago:
Every kid is different, but if you’re not able to ask the parents then a safe bet is a duplo set. Bristle blocks are also great. My kid is currently 2 1/2 so these are what I know would be hits with him and his friends.
You could also get one of the following books:
Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site
Don’t Worry Little Crab The Little Blue Truck (it’s a whole series, the Halloween one would be appropriate) Bear Snores On or any other book in that series - Comment on People seem to really dislike Destiny 2. Why haven't they ended it yet? 11 months ago:
I appreciate the shout out to Guild Wars there. Aside from the opaque learning curve it’s one of the most player friendly live service games going.
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