whyrat

@whyrat@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are there good Movies, TV Shows, Anime, with wholesome family (particularly parent-child) relations?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I hope I didn’t come across as joking. Bluey models probably the most wholesome parent-child relationships on television. Yes it’s acted out by cartoon dogs; but the scenarios hit home.

  I’m a father of two; watching (and often emulating) Bluey has absolutely made me a better parent. It’s not all “go 100% with your kids all the time”; sometimes it’s “we have to stop playing so I can go to work” or “mom and dad are tired, let’s play a game where we don’t have to leave the couch” or “it seems we’re spending too much time watching TV or screens, how do we reconnect to the real world”. Yes, the irony of a TV show covering that last topic isn’t lost on me :P

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are there good Movies, TV Shows, Anime, with wholesome family (particularly parent-child) relations?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Watch Bluey! It’s a kids show, but everyone should watch it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ark Nova⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  One of my favorite board games! I also highly recommend the marine expansion.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do adults have such big noses?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The better to smell you with my dear.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mary E. Brunkow, one of this year's Nobel Prize winners in Medicine, has only 34 published papers and an H-index of 21.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  If quantity is the measure instead of quality: AI wins!

  Repurposed joke: It’s able to make more mistakes faster than any other invention… with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How did easy access to Porn while growing up impacted Gen-Z ?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  After watching, I think this largely lines up with the impact of porn addiction being real and impactful, which I certainly don’t deny.

  Likely the different emphasis is on the prevalence of internet porn addiction. He claims it’s more likely than gambling or other internet-related addictions; I wonder if that is consensus or if it’s maybe changed over time? From a societal level, I’m sure there’s more porn addiction than in the past (as he notes the availability, quality, and variety are significantly different than before the internet). But his talk implies a much larger scale than I would accept without validating the sources. From what I’m familiar with porn addiction isn’t much more or less prevalent than other internet related ones. Here’s one data point putting “cybersex” close to game addiction, but well below social media and smartphone: pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35150965/ similar numbers here: virtual-addiction.com/technology-addiction-statis… “Between 7 and 10% of people who watch online porn are addicted to it.”

  Considering the data I’m familiar with: majority of people (in western societies) aren’t suffering the side effects of internet porn addiction and are still able to pursue typical life goals (finding a partner, marriage, children, etc). While we have seen some of these figures declining (marriage and having children). Or, these trends have been in place since before high speed internet (declining birthrates stem from the 60s in the US: datacommons.org/explore#q=birth+rate ). Marriage rates similarly declined well before the internet (and have stabilized in the past decade or so): bgsu.edu/…/loo-marriage-rate-US-geographic-variat…

  Specifically he mentions ED as a kind of “ultimate” symptom… unfortunately I don’t see a good timeseries for ED prevalence; even across studies the estimates vary quite a bit, so I’m not sure there’s a standard measurement with a long enough history to use… that’d be an interesting metric to consider if it were available though!

  I’d have to go back and check what other studies on porn use used for control groups; as this talk states “there is no control group”… I think that is inaccurate. Even if control groups aren’t available, we can still measure impacts without a control group if we can reliably track quantity in some manner. It need not be just abstinence versus usage to conduct a valid study; we can compare high, medium, and low volumes of usage. We know the volumes at which over consumption of water is harmful even though there are no people who abstain from it!

  Thanks again for linking; it had a few other references & citations I’ll continue to pursue. I appreciate the different perspective on the topic!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How did easy access to Porn while growing up impacted Gen-Z ?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve not seen it before, I’ll check it out. Thanks!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How did easy access to Porn while growing up impacted Gen-Z ?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Here’s a long-form interview between a sex researcher and a urologist (MD) about how porn really effects us; both on an individual level; and in aggregate as a society. www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEqe5dHuQYE

  TLDR: Porn is a bit of an over-stimulation on the brain, but the scale of the effect is similar to caffeine or nicotine. Far less impactful than that of any hard drug like cocaine or heroine. And unlike a chemical stimulant, it’s impossible to overdoes. Some people have excessive reactions to watching porn and having it readily available, so things like porn addiction are real and shouldn’t be dismissed. But the frequency of this is low (far lower than nicotine, gambling, or alcohol as comparison points) and the severity of such addictions are often minor (addicts skip other social interactions, but are unlikely to go into debt or lose jobs except in the most extreme cases).

  There is no strong evidence that early exposure to porn via the internet has significant adverse effects. There are worse effects from exposure to violent content (including violent porn) than pornography in general.

  This makes sense as from an evolutionary standpoint seeing other naked humans is expected. It’s only recently (in evolutionary time frames) that we’d not expect children to see other naked humans regularly or be unexposed to sex at all until an adult age. From a biological standpoint it makes perfect sense that our brain can handle seeing other people engaged in sexual activity.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What is in for the antivax in a government?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  They’re working off of incorrect information & ideas. They think people will be better off not getting vaccinated. They genuinely think they’re doing a good thing. They don’t think we’ll have resurgences of diseases at any large scale because they don’t attribute the disappearance of those diseases to vaccines. They believe society will be relieved from some vaccine induced “side-effects” like increased autism (or 5G mind control… or whatever… it’s hard to keep track of their nonsense).

  Since they accept the above falsehoods; they don’t need to “get” anything. They’re as certain stopping vaccinations will help the general population as I am that it will do harm. But some idiot(s) put them in charge so they get to execute on their campaign promises.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Weekly Recommendations Thread: What are you playing this week?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Abiotic Factor

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How do you combat boredom?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you’re referring to things one can do alone: Hobbies! Pick up anything where the end result is something you’ve created. Every iteration you make improvements and get better and better stuff! Examples: Music or Art (learn an instrument, paint / craft decorations for your residence); Sewing or Knitting; Gardening; Woodworking (some of these can be expensive)…

  Things you can do with others: Exercise (join a running or cycling group; rec sports team; etc…); Board Games; Video Games…

  And if you do things with others you can also combat boredom by researching & discussing those things: look for new trails to run/ride; keep up to date on reviews for new trends in your hobby; discuss those same trends with your peers; etc…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨32, f. Are there any dating sites that are actually free and don't suddenly force me to pay to actually use the site?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  A similar question was asked about 2 weeks ago; I was going to link to that but it was since deleted; so here’s a copy & paste of my reply instead. Note payment wasn’t raised in that discussion; my response to that would be: is potentially meeting people interested in dating you worth the fee (to me that answer was yes)? If a service provides value to me I’m happy to pay a reasonable amount.

  ---

  A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.

  I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.

  Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person I’m currently dating seriously on here.

  Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.

  eHarmony: where I originally met my previous wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.

  Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).

  For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and The Office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.

  For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The odds of your iPhone pics standing out are slim unless you’re rocking a speedo packing a hog, ridiculously muscular, or apparently holding a fish?

  From my experience; that’s not what women are looking for. At least, not the ones I ended up matching & later talking about the dating app experience; but then I matched without any of those types of photos… so there’s selection bias in my sample. I did encounter a number of women mentioning the ubiquitous “fish pic” and though it was strange. I guess if you like fishing as a hobby that’s fine; but I don’t notice that many single men when I’m fishing. As a response I would send them a selfie holding up my kids’ “fish” bath toys and that always got a laugh :)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.

  I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.

  Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person in currently dating seriously on here.

  Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.

  eHarmony: where I originally met my wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.

  Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).

  For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and the office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.

  For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do you wish a Happy Mother's Day to your friends who are mothers or just to those in your own family?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  No need for a meme. Just say happy mother’s day. A personal anecdote will mean more… Give one example of why you think they’re a great mother.

  I have a few close friends who are mothers I sent a note today. If you’re close enough you’d wish them a happy birthday it’d be kind to do the same on any other holiday that applies. And ultimately this is all about being nice to people you care about. If it would make their day a little bit better: do it!

  The same applies for days that aren’t holidays too … This is part of how you make and maintain friendships. Send a nice message every once in a while just to let them know they matter to you and you think highly about them. People love to hear others appreciate them. They’re more likely to do the same back if you do, and I always find it uplifting to get a random compliment from a friend.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How Will We Know If The Trump Tariffs Were A Good Idea?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you’re looking for convincing arguments; read through the responses from this panel of experts: www.kentclarkcenter.org/surveys/tariffs/ (from 2024) and more recently: kentclarkcenter.org/…/tariffs-reciprocal-and-reta…

  Many of the responding professors provide detail on why they vote a certain way. For example to the 3rd part of the question from 2024: “The gains for the American economy from tripling the tariffs would measurably outweigh the losses.” you get replies like:

  Protectionism via tariffs creates well-understood aggregate losses in efficiency. This is so even if China “unfairly” subsidizes its steel. Political motivations aside, actual distributional impacts are modest, ill targeted, and better handled with other more direct tax tools.

  With links to further background information: economics.mit.edu/sites/…/CW 04-15-22.pdf & www.econ.ucla.edu/pfajgelbaum/tradewar_1203.pdf with more detail to read.

  Not sure if this will convince you or not; but it’s at least a cache of relevant information.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Space Chef (in development), a space exploration/hunting x restaurant management game hybrid, releases demo on Steam.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Dave the Diver, but in space?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How can you oppose tariffs, while supporting a hardline against China on Taiwan?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My facts were provided and cited? I’d argue your positions are the ones not related to the facts:

  aerospace and military manufacturers are saying there are certain components they simply can’t manufacture here without importing from China

  This is a media statement, not a fact, and not reflected in industry data nor historical examples. There’s a cost they don’t want to pay, not a hard block. Manufacturing has historically been more than able to adjust, but at a cost. In the event of a war we’d likely pay that cost, in the face of tariffs it’s up to those individual manufacturers to decide. So we might see them choose to keep importing instead of replacing certain components… But that does not then mean they couldn’t do so.

  I don’t understand how you have maintained this perspective of interruptions and shipping affecting the US more than China

  I didn’t claim this at all? And I won’t argue it as relevant since interrupting shipping globally is not a relevant equivalent to bilateral trade halting.

  I don’t feel like you’re making arguments in good faith, or you are disregarding my claims and raising straw man arguments… Apologies in advance as I’ll likely not continue this thread.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How can you oppose tariffs, while supporting a hardline against China on Taiwan?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  US manufacturing output is far larger than the amount we import form China.

  US manufacturing made about $2.5 Trillion in 2021: www.macrotrends.net/…/manufacturing-output

  US imported from China about $0.5 Trillion (all goods, not just manufacturing): www.census.gov/foreign-trade/balance/c5700.html

  China could defeat most western countries without firing a single shot, just by cutting off their access to Chinese exports.

  I disagree with this assumption!

  We don’t rely on China, we benefit from trading with them. Some of our goods go there, we get some of their goods. If a war breaks out and that trade stops; we have plenty of manufacturing capacity. And the point of having allies is that we would expect assistance in the event of a war, so we don’t expect US manufacturing to even completely fill the gap (similarly our allies would expect the US to help if China were to target one of them… except that the current administration is alienating everyone but Russia…).

  If you look another level down into what each country manufactures; the US makes a lot of military equipment, and imports a lot of consumer goods form China. Our military would not lose much capacity by a loss in trade with China, but US consumers would lose some of their consumption options. Guess which one matters when it comes to war?

  I don’t support tariffs as a tool to increase American manufacturing jobs because they don’t accomplish that goal. This is not a political belief; it’s derived from evidence. Many sources available, here’s one: …taxfoundation.org/…/Tax-Foundation-FF595-1.pdf

  Using tariffs as a diplomatic tool is only effective in extreme cases. Diplomacy is difficult and so many things are interrelated. If a tariff threat makes China capitulate to our position on Taiwan, why not just use a tariff threat to bring China completely into line on every other position? Tariffs are blunt, and cause harm (economic and diplomatic) to broad areas of both countries unrelated to the specific issue. Topical example: sanctions on Russia did not change their position on Ukraine, even though those were far more severe than just a blanket X% tariff and were supported by many other countries (multi-lateral as opposed to uni-lateral). If we want to influence China’s position on Taiwan, diplomacy is more effective than tariffs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Your all-time favorite game? Let's discuss the best options!⁩ ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Best single game is probably Portal. The pacing, storytelling, innovation, sound, all are top notch even 20+ tears later. Graphics aren’t phenomenal, but don’t need to be. The challenges and easter eggs made it a blast to 100%.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I feel my life is empty. Is there any way to stop this?⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. -Mark Twain

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Speaking honestly, what has to happen for you personally to take to the street in protest of the current administration.⁩ ⁨⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve been to protests; and I’ve volunteered for political campaigns. The second actually flipped a (US House) seat from red to blue (obviously the work of many people; I’m not thinking I was the deciding factor but it was a close election). The first left me with a pink hat and no noticeable change in how elected leaders acted.

  I need to be convinced the protest will achieve measurable changes; otherwise I’ll spend my time looking for the upcoming elections where there are close enough margins to feel my actions make a difference.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the deal with male loneliness?⁩ ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, if this is an issue you have: you should start taking steps to address it!

  There are a number of online services to get you started, or see a therapist for personalized help from a professional. Mental health issues are real, but can be addressed with the right treatments. They won’t likely go away on their own, you’ll need to find the right strategies that work for you and then put in the effort & time to address it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Any good games that break the mold⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Check out Fez if you haven’t already. Also Tunic does a great job of starting out basic & breaking precedent.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are LLMs capable of writing *good* code?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Hackers and hobbiests will persist despite any economics. Much of what they do I don’t see AI replacing, as AI creates based off of what it “knows”, which is mostly things it has previously ingested.

  We are not (yet?) at the point where LLM does anything other than put together code snippets it’s seen or derived. If you ask it to find a new attack vector or code dissimilar to something it’s seen before the results are poor.

  But the counterpoint every developer needs to keep in mind: AI will only get better. It’s not going to lose any of the current capabilities to generate code, and very likely will continue to expand on what it can accomplish. It’d be naive to assume it can never achieve these new capabilities… The question is just when & how much it costs (in terms of processing and storage).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Does voting for Biden change anything if I live in a deep red area of my state? (Ohio)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩:

  Your vote is sending a signal to future elections. If Ohio has a 20-point red margin, it’s unlikely to get any attention from blue candidates. If it has a 5% margin, that changes, and suddenly the next campaign considers spending time & money to try and move the needle.

  Remember the old Roman adage: “you’re not defeated until you admit defeat”. If you don’t vote: you’ve lost. If you vote, you might still lose that election but there’s a better chance to win in the future.