pidgey
@pidgey@lemmy.world
- Comment on Be better 1 day ago:
It’s great for us all to be the best we can be, and to always be working to improve.
“Perfect” is an abstract idea - it’s not really applicable to something as complicated as a human. Not just because it isn’t obtainable, but because we definitely would never be able to agree what the criteria are.
- Comment on Be better 5 days ago:
This is me! 🙂 I could make you a long list of things wrong with my parents / things they did wrong, but last I checked humans are going to be human (not perfect). My parents love me and they did the best they could. I had a WAY better childhood than most.
However 40 years of undiagnosed female ADHD didn’t go well. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be struggling so I pretended that I wasn’t. THAT didn’t work.
Eventually got knowledge and support - things are looking up for sure. Just - boy oh boy a lot of energy wasted and failures that could have been avoided if I knew then what I know now.
Grateful I know now, but folks who are struggling and don’t know why have my heart for sure.
- Comment on Be better 6 days ago:
Everyone makes mistakes.
If you had a reasonable childhood count yourself lucky - your mistakes will probably be reasonable. If you suffered from severe trauma/abuse or you have mental health challenges then you are likely to make different kinds of mistakes.
It is everyone’s job to work towards being better. You do something shitty then YOU did it - your childhood didn’t do that, you did. It also might be true that you don’t even recognize how shitty it is because you were taught it was “normal”.
We all are responsible for our actions, but some folks have been surrounded by kindness from birth so kindness is natural and easy. Other folks have to work really hard and make a lot of mistakes to learn that their behavior isn’t ok.
Yes, we are all responsible for our actions.
Equally true = some folks face enormous challenges because of background or brain chemistry, while others have it so easy they don’t get why anyone would struggle.
- Comment on Be better 6 days ago:
Absolutely humans are deeply affected on conscious and unconscious levels by all kinds of things that are out of their control - both experiences and brain chemistry. Absolutely it is a privilege afforded to only a few to have access to the support and resources needed to become aware of their situation and create deep change for themselves.
It’s also true that if you do a bad thing you did a bad thing. That does NOT mean you are a bad person, it does NOT mean all the things you can’t or couldn’t control are your responsibility, it does NOT mean that you even were fully aware of what you did.
But if you do a bad thing you are responsible for what you did. YOU did it. It is your responsibility to get on a path that will allow you to recognize and change that behavior.
It is nobody’s job to be perfect or beat themselves up for mistakes. It is everyone’s job to work towards being better - to themselves and to the people around them.
Part of that is understanding that you are responsible for your actions. You may genuinely not have been capable of making a better choice at the time - but if you did it = it’s on you to own the mistake.
- Comment on Where did I go wrong? 4 weeks ago:
Agree completely- I adore people who are excited about anything and tell me about it with enthusiasm!
That said - it needs to be mutual. Awesome for you to lecture me on your passions - but it’s not a fun relationship for me if you aren’t also eager to hear about the things I want to share.
- Comment on My mom an old school nurse will stop at traffic accidents and try to help if no one is around, my new school sister nurse won't. Saying everyone is sue happy thesedays. Who is right? 5 weeks ago:
You can always stop and call for help.
Don’t do anything you aren’t trained to do, and always ask “can I help?” / get verbal consent if they are conscious.
The danger is just if you have bad judgement. Say you saw a tourniquet on a TV show so you think you know when it’s appropriate to use a tourniquet - or if someone is injured and you decide to move them which makes them MORE injured. (Note: you CAN move them away from a fire or something that would otherwise kill them. “More injuries” is better than dead.)
But you can ALWAYS stop and be kind and call for help and wait with them!
If you act in good faith and aren’t trying to “play doctor” when you aren’t one - no jury is going to punish you for that. If there aren’t good Samaritan laws in your state (there are in most) they might be able to take you to court but they won’t win.