Iapetus

@Iapetus@slrpnk.net

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Religion choices⁩ ⁨⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Brody is a pedo who all the church ladies love to the point of turning against their kids if they say anything against him.

  Billy Bob is a deeeeply closeted homosexual who fantasises about murdering rent boys and actually might have, depending on where he was in the 70’s.

  Susan is just kinda stupid and annoying, but she does good charity work for people who actually need it and she really doesn’t want to hurt anyone, so she should get to live.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We really don't want to talk about our problems⁩ ⁨⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Is this the guy who fell off a boat and claimed he built a raft and ate a stick and befriended a dolphin or something? There was a tumblr post about this a while back that was quite funny, there were a lot of inconsistencies in the guys story.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wake up fam, two new genders just dropped⁩ ⁨⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  If yo mama has wheels, she needs wheelchair access toilets.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Spidey Senses⁩ ⁨⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Be cool to all animals, killing them is not OK.

  But also, common house spider spreads antibiotic-resistant bacteria to humans, study finds, so maybe don’t be so blasé about letting them live in your house?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Spidey Senses⁩ ⁨⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Nah, my mother loved spiders and we somehow regularly had fucking massive house spiders crawling around on the ceiling of the house when I was growing up. I swear she must have been bringing them into the house at one point or something, we definitely had a well above average amount of spiders for a good few years there.

  There was only ever one at a time though, that I ever saw anyway, but they were those really big, hairy bastards that you can count the legs off from across the room and don’t look like they’re supposed to live in England.

  Fast too, so fast, and eerily silent as they skittered, with too many angles protruding from their fat bodies. If you couldn’t see them so starkly outlined against the white ceiling, you’d never even know they were up there, and they’d cross the room in less time than it took you to walk there yourself.

  My mum thought they were cool though and called them all Boris and she’d talk to them like they were bloody cats. Mad woman.

  I am (thank fuck) not my mother and shit scared of most spiders*. My mothers’ behaviour did not impact my perfectly rational fear of potentially dangerous creatures crawling around my house. I know giant house spiders aren’t dangerous to humans, but plenty of other big spiders around the world are and I don’t think it’s wise to try desensitise human children to this, especially as more and more species now will be migrating due to climate change.

  *Jumping spiders are cool, I like those ones. They’re surprusingly smart, and cute, and they’ve even evolved a vegetarian amongst them.