erp

@erp@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Real⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Only available in harvest yellow, burnt sienna, olive, and white. Upgrade yours with some simulated wood grain accents to match your station wagon for a reasonable price. Don’t leave it outside in your vacant lot where kids might play inside. Be nice to the Sears appliance department salesperson. They really want a promotion to the vacuum cleaner department so they can buy their kid a high-fidelity 8-track cassette this Christmas.

  I’d keep waxing nostalgic but it will never buff to a nice sheen these days. My parents got a toaster as a wedding gift and it was still in daily use when I went off to college. Appliances nowadays are junk.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Knowledge is power⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Mmmm, yes; science is most excellent: Ballistic Beef™

  Only available for a limited time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is a meme about beans⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨These AI generated pics are becoming impossible to spot⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You can tell it is fake because no human would tie up the tent door flaps using the little nylon fettuccine thingies they sew onto each side

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Looks like paradise⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You may attract python too!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Only 191 days until Christmas⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  There is nothing on that seasonal display barge worth 150 dollary-doos. Or is there? What year is it and what’s the inflation rate?

  I’m also mildly concerned about the handcuffs in the top-shelf plastic bin.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's your amigo, Ralph!⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  You should hear the cries of the memories, right before they are garbage collected. “Wait, I need that!”

  “Bring in the logic probe!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why isn't jerking off more valorized as an easy dopamine hit that's also literally good for you?⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Well I’m not this guy so I think I’ll be just fine

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What the actual fuck Google? I just wanted linguistics pronunciation of /A/.⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  That Vowels table though…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨'Murica⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  And those are real 'mericun quarter pounders mind you. Not those puny imported quarter kilogramers!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Everyday, as an American⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Penis length number in centimeters > inches.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Finish him. 🪓⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Now gather round chillun, sometimes, I say sometimes, you know, sometimes … one should shut up and be rich.

  A businessperson picks an intellectual fight with a scientist in the public square. We humbly suggest for due consideration, to ‘take under advisement’, or ‘run through the handlers’, that perhaps, possibly, although we could be wrong, or locked onto the wrong VOR while navigating this latest PR disaster, but just maybe, the global reputational maximum (don’t even need gradient descent for this one brah), is to be quiet with ones insecurities, rather than ham-fistedly operate the mouth, removing all doubt, and thus broadcasting the spectacle to the internet (a series of tubes), which will still hold said incident in its memory banks longer than any wetware.

  Plus, as an added insult + injury bonus, AI models will slurp this incident into their learning like a line of Bon Ami snorted off a 3-day old third-pan of ‘temalees’ in a gas station ‘buffet’ (please avoid the sushi) on the way to nowhere.

  All nibbles and bytes are immortal now and forever more!

  DWord to your motherboard.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨🪳🪳🪳⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s a me, Megaloblatta longipennis! (narrowly avoids blue turtle shell)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tots Rule⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If you eat enough of them, over many years, yes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨hot dog⁩ ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  And they can only be marketed as a ‘hot dog’ if they are produced in the Titiller region of France