Hello John, it’s farmers! Just would like to apologize for the rate increase this month. But remember, we’re a family and we are with you all the way. …

Ding! Gmail update! AliExpress: John try these aspirin-like pills daily! $0.35! Value pack $0.112 aspirin pills. New VR headset gaskets $35.54 Ornament for casket $5.93, tell someone you love how you sorry for them very much miss! $2.35 cards! Pampers $56.87

Search results… sardines, sardine salad, diy sardines, sardine aquaponics, cardiac arrest while pregnant, a white paper investigating the pathways and links between the two medical conditions. Sardines in salad. Pampers $56.97 Amazon prime, we deliver today, aspirin and Pampers free shipping!

Upgrade update! The Samsung app needs permissions to all your contacts…it’s important to the function of your phone and watch ⌚. Motorola edge watch 360! All new heartbeat detector malfunction 0325.

All new tonight! Have you been pregnant and with chest pains? Call Wegan the mighty Vegan! Need a lawyer for last rights, a priest lawyer for eminent deaths from pregnancy? Now back to the all new Netflix original miniseries, how I met your wife after a heart attack!

Ping! You have…2 new messages. To listen to your new messages press 1, to delete press 7…

Ping! Hey John! Guess what! I think I’m pregnant! We should talk. You want your watch back? You left it in my apartment. It’s pretty cool but it is showing some errors 0325, whatever the heck that is…

Ping! John, this is your doctor, your EKG results are in. Let’s talk options. I’ve set up an appointment for you for Wednesday 21 2035, it’s a few years from now. It’s the first one I have available. Man I’ve been working nonstop for a good 10 years. Anyway sorry, not sure you can make it. Oops, I don’t mean you’re gonna die before the appointment, although… Anyway, sorry, didn’t mean…you know, well actually you don’t know. Anyway, like I said let’s talk options!

Ring! Ring! Hey this is the coroner’s office, we are on our way to pick up the deceased. Did you all need to recover some of John’s personal belongings from the body before we pick it up?..No!.. okay great, we’ll be there in a few minut…No! I mean this is is Joh, I’m naw fallin saw goo, need halp…912!

911! Hello what’s your emergency! …yos, fello, I hink, I fabin a hag attack! A hag afack… what sir, speak louder please I don’t understand…a hag attack! Mah fag no ticking na mo…sir! Hey if this is a prank call we’re pressing charges! You have a good day! Stupid sonobabich! You know this is a public service and!..,oh heart attack! Ahhhh! Okay okay! Sir, where do you live? We need a cross street!..sir?..siiiierr!.. oops… we’ll just aaaaahhh…oh look another caller, bye!