Submitted 11 hours ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/1ec1ffc5-70ee-4bd1-94b3-de1a4662f253.jpeg
Santa Claus isn’t contact free?
Each christmas sant sneals beside your bed and gifts you with little kisses before he leaves. This is the reason for seasonal increase in illness not the temperature. It’s mostly fine for fairness but was the leading factor in spreading the bubonic plague
He sees you when you’re sleeping,
In comforts soft embrace.
He comes right up to your bedside
And drags his balls across your face.
So, you’d better not pout, you’d better not cry,
You’d better watch out, I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is coming to town!
Also stole the bedside milk and cookies.
Is it cannon that Santa knows Jesus’ teaching? I know the original Saint Nicholas was religious but the version that is popular now (who lives in the north pole, who uses elves and flying reindeer) seems non religious.
Also, how can Mary know the teachings of her son before she gave birth to him?
Immaculate delivery, hoe hoe
stupidcasey@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
CEASE AND DESIST - FIRST AND FINAL WARNING
This is your ONLY notice regarding your libelous accusations against Mr. S. Claus.
The Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938 (29 U.S.C. § 201 et seq.) specifically excludes charitable volunteers from coverage. My client’s workshop is a registered charitable organization. Your claims are legally baseless and constitutionally defamatory.
Retract your statements immediately or face litigation. Mr. Claus has extensive resources, centuries of relations with government officials, and zero tolerance for slander.
You’ve made the Naughty List. Don’t make it worse.
Jingleheimer & Schmidt, Esq.
Counsel for S. Claus
North Pole Bar Association
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 7 hours ago
I love this so much.