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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwRA3857362 on 2023-09-02 05:51:53.

I (58F) married my husband (61M) when our oldest kids were both 16 and about to be juniors. We each had one younger kid, so four kids in total. My ex is not involved at all and his ex got his kids every other weekend. The transition was tough at first but the kids are all really great and made it work and even ended up being close.

Our two oldest kids are now both 22 and graduating college. They didn’t go to the same school but schools right near each other - think Boston University and Northeastern. I know they saw each other occasionally and had some of the same friends.

Last weekend, they came home and told us they’re dating. They acted like we should be excited, but I honestly felt nauseous. They lived in the same house for high school and come back for all breaks and summer. I feel like they were probably flirting or getting physical in our house and I was too naive to realize. I’m really upset with my daughter and don’t understand why in a whole world of people she had to do this. He is a kind boy and of course I think the world of my daughter, and I know they could both find suitable partners who aren’t each other. Immediately my younger son was making fun of them for copying porn which is just disgusting. I find this all extremely embarrassing and can’t imagine telling extended family or neighbors this.

I told them they were uninvited to the holidays and that they couldn’t stay under my roof again. My daughter has an apartment at school (that we pay for!) so it’s not like she would be homeless. She screamed at me and left, and my husband thinks I was too harsh. I just need a dose of reality here and simply can’t see how this could work. AITA?

My son made this account for me to ask this, so I hope this is all posted correctly and following the rules.