Man, I don’t know what it is, but I absolutely detest this song. There’s nothing objectively wrong with it, just some slightly schlocky 80s pop with a nice-enough “I will survive” kinda vibe to the lyrics. Not really my thing, but you do you, Whamaholics. Or at least, that’s how I think I should feel.

Something about the specific combination of arrangement, lyrics, particularly the lightly Christmasfied aspect to tie into giving away your heart, and George Michael’s falsetto, it just drives me up a fuckin’ wall. I genuinely prefer the Mariah Carey song, though it’s a close thing.