The problem, as I see it, is: You are rotating around yourself. All the time. Round and round.

Humans are made for relationships. Not just man-woman, but relationships in the most general sense.

You are not living any strong relationships, and therefore your life feels meaningless.

So, the solution is: start to invest your time into people. Nursing wasn’t a bad start at all. But you do it for a job = for making money, so there’s not much coming back to you.

My advice is:

Do something for people in such a way that nothing comes back to you. It does not need to be much. But do it very regularly. That way you will be able to escape that rotating around yourself.

You are going to meet new people, and there will be some wonderful people among them. Some others, too, but you are strong enough not to get scared off easily.