I’m not sure what you’re asking here. Are you asking why people bring up being black or make it a part of their identity? Being black in America is a part of their every day lived experience. At no point will society let them forget they are black and just let them be themselves. If not outright discrimination, then they’ll experience people making assumptions about them based solely on the color of their skin. Assuming they’re poor, uneducated, unintelligent, untrustworthy, or dangerous. So, since they can’t escape the label anyways, they embrace it in order to find community and to heal. Like one might do if they were a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Are you asking why black people have stereotypes about white people? The same reason you have stereotypes about anything. Humans are pattern recognizing machines, often to our own detriment.

Are you asking why black people might treat white people with disdain or fear? It’s because the most blatant discrimination towards any out-group will always come from the most insulated in-group. As a result, they can’t blindly trust that white people will treat them with dignity or respect.

Are you asking how we end racism or to get more people to think like you (colorblind)? That requires one, ending systemic oppression of black people (if you think this step is done, then you need to do you some learning). Two, educating people on the history of black people in America, both their contributions and their struggles, so that there’s a solid understanding and empathy built up. Three, wait several generations so that no one has negative, undeserved biases against black people OR create a culture where people can be called out on their racist actions without fear of retribution or retaliation.

This is really difficult to grasp, especially if you’ve never experienced direct discrimination and think that is just the actions of individuals that are the issue. As a white man with a black partner, it took me YEARS to really breakdown all the negative assumptions that society instilled in me without me even realizing. Even the “I treat everyone the same, regardless of their skin color” thought is bad, because it means you’re unwilling to listen when people tell you they’re being harmed because of their skin color. Especially if it’s you doing the harm.

You can’t start by being mad at the discriminated for telling you they’re being discriminated against. You need to listen to them with empathy and compassion, and realize also that they don’t really need to teach you about this stuff, you need to be inquisitive and want to learn.