I worked for basically Michael Scott at some point in my life. Everyone knew that he had the easiest job on the planet, and he still didn’t do it, and we were all glad he didn’t. He could talk to a room full of people for hours and explain his position in the company for so long that you forgot what you even asked.

If you think the connection to Michael Scott ends there, you’d be wrong. You would always know when he had a new girlfriend, because he would talk about her all the time. One time he connected his laptop to the projector and the first thing that opened was a picture of his girlfriend. He looked at it, said: OH. Made sure everyone saw her and then pretended to hurry to start his speech.

One day he came to work, sat in my car (i was on my way to a jobsite and had no idea why he was there.) i didn’t want to talk, so i just took off. After some awkward silence, he said: i’m not even supposed to work today. I nodded, i had no idea. He asked if i knew why he’s here. I said nope. He said he was supposed to get married today but his girlfriend fucked two dudes in the jacuzzi yesterday.

There are countless stories like that and all i could think about was: this guy makes 60k a year by working two days a week. And i don’t mean because he was slacking off the rest, he was only employed 20%