Comment on Anon thinks it's too late
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 month agoYeah I started dating at 20. I’d always had friends but it for so much easier in my 20s to befriend people who treated me right.
Yeah it sucks. But also, anon’s advice is true. A huge step for me was getting the fuck over myself. Anon isn’t doomed but he has his work cut out for him
yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
I don’t know, I feel like anon’s advice is misguided at the very least.
It assumes that OOP is more or less choosing to be this way, instead of struggling with issues outside their control, be it self-image issues, anxiety, depression, money or a myriad of other things. Depending on the particukar combination and severity, anon’s situation may not change for a very long time, including forever.
I believe proper advice would focus on making them accept their situation. It’s OK to have no friends or partner(s). They are not a necessity in order to live a meaningful life. Perhaps it won’t be the most meaningful life possible but it is certainly possible to find meaning while feeling lonely. Though finding a job is somewhat important, especially if they live in countries without social welfare, they should focus on that for a bit.
I don’t have any positive stories to share on how I overcame the issues anon is facing - considering I’m in my early 20s and have nearly all the same one’s. But acceptance has helped me cope with my situation in a not unhealthy way and reduced some of the pain of loneliness and self-doubt.