Na. Without context maybe but from your account naaaa I used to pop a chub on the school bus going up and down the country roads. Usually just played it off as scratching my balls but would actually just tuck it into the waste band.

No matter how many people say otherwise the only thing that truly matters at the end of life is your happiness and psychological well being. Family, friends, jobs and houses will come and go. Don’t ever let yourself get too lost being comfortable with depression. It’s not ever going to get easier but the rest of life will and does get easier. Especially if you continue to fight the depression because nothing in life will ever be more taxing than fighting yourself.