Hey, I have a rambling anecdote!

I’ve always had problems with intrusive thoughts. A few years back I had a really hard breakup that I won’t go into the details of. For 6 months I had a TV on, my headphones on with a book running, and was doom scrolling every bit of social media I could when I wasn’t working. I started drinking the second I got off work and only stopped when it was time to sleep. Why? Because my intrusive thoughts got LOUD. I couldn’t function without something going on all the time.

I went through more than a book a day on audible for those 6 months. One day I forgot to charge the speaker in my shower and I had a whole ass breakdown. There was no point in my life that was silent.

Eventually I got better. It took time but I got there. Now I’m a drunk recreationally instead of because I need to be in order to function. I listen to books for pleasure instead of out of necessity. And much later I did the whole therapy thing and have tools to keep myself from going through that again.