Also I suspect that some people assume that I feel hurt from being single. Some possible factors:

• For people who are less able to put a lot of energy into a non-urgent task, I think perceived urgency would be more likely to be the first explanation that comes to mind when reading about my experiences, because avoiding projection is complicated for all of us.
• It’s hard for me to precisely describe mindsets that I have had, so I have used vague descriptions, and that might leave room for various interpretations. A severe example is when I used the phrase “almost like a goal”.