Eh, just the general stress of existance with some teenage angst sprinkled on top, I guess.

Grew up under the poverty line, was abused at a very young age, started working around the age of 7 to help keep food on the table, had multiple deaths in the family within a few years (one of which was the result of a horrific industrial accident - didn’t witness it, but overheard enough detail that it still haunts me to this day), spent my early teens mostly on my own due to my mom spending most of her time caring for my grandma after she broke her knee, etc.

So yeah, the novel concept of being able to take the edge off by lighting up a smoke was pretty alluring. ¯\(ツ)/¯