I think you make a good point. But the tech doesn’t have to formalize or understand the complexities of human relations or state. The platform and environment are something you can shape even without an established or physical community. The way information is presented and interactions happen influence how people use and communicate.
Comment on After is a new dating app that tries to tackle ghosting
theluddite@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
This app fundamentally misunderstands the problem. Your friend sets you up on a date. Are you going to treat that person horribly. Of course not. Why? First and foremost, because you’re not a dick. Your date is a human being who, like you, is worthy and deserving of basic respect and decency. Second, because your mutual friendship holds you accountable. Relationships in communities have an overlapping structure that mutually impact each other. Accountability is an emergent property of that structure, not something that can be implemented by an app. When you meet people via an app, you strip both the humanity and the community, and with it goes the individual and community accountability.
I’ve written about this tension before: As we use computers more and more to mediate human relationships, we’ll increasingly find that being human and doing human things is actually too complicated to be legible to computers, which need everything spelled out in mathematically precise detail. Human relationships, like dating, are particularly complicated, so to make them legible to computers, you necessarily lose some of the humanity.
Companies that try to whack-a-mole patch the problems with that will find that their patches are going to suffer from the same problem: Their accountability structure is a flat shallow version of genuine human accountability, and will itself result in pathological behavior. The problem is recursive.
Kissaki@beehaw.org 1 month ago
theluddite@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Totally agreed. I didn’t mean to say that it’s a failure if it doesn’t properly encapsulate all complexity, but that the inability to do so has implications for design. In this specific case (as in many cases), the error they’re making is that they don’t realize that the root of them problem that they’re trying to solve lies in that tension.
The platform and environment are something you can shape even without an established or physical community.
Again, couldn’t agree more! The problem here is that the platform is actually extremely powerful and can easily change behavior in undesirable ways for users. That’s, I think, a big part of where ghosting comes from in the first place, and by thinking that you can just bolt a new thing onto the Tinder model is to repeat the original error.
fracture@beehaw.org 1 month ago
really good thoughts and write up that you linked, thanks
theluddite@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Glad to hear it!
darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
I have in my life met a number of people to whom you might want to explain that this was how they were supposed to behave.