They might seriously not know that they’re doing anything other than kidding around
After the last 8 years here in the US, I’m just about tired of people who claim to be ‘kidding around’ when what they’re doing is being carelessly cruel.
I worked in a workplace where a bunch of self proclaimed “Alpha” dudes were just kidding around. They ran the culture of being assholes to people and most just tolerate it because these dudes were untouchable.
Like a pregnant coworker would walk by and they’d go, “What a waste”.
And if you got upset, “just kidding relax. Just a joke.”
Shit is toxic.
And if you got upset, “just kidding relax. Just a joke.”
Yup, and they’re probably ugly as fuck themselves. I’m just not putting up with it anymore.
“Your mom wasn’t joking last night.” is my favorite response. If we’re in the gutter, let’s wallow there for a while, and your mom jokes bring the situation to light for all.
Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 4 months ago
I have never been there so I won’t pretend to know what it’s like but I would suggest that taking that macro level pulse of the nation and applying it to your individual interactions is going to reinforce and entrench the problems your seeing on a the larger scale.
Sure, sometimes it’s very clear what the intent is and when someone is disingenuously hiding behind a feint for ideological reasons. But without the necessary context it’s probably better not to assume the worst when they could just have blind spots. There’s no need to be charitable or generous with people that are obviously out to cause harm but if it’s not obvious, as with this story, and when there’s an opportunity for a real dialogue as seems possible with OP and their personal relationship with the person in question, it’s got to be better to reach out first before giving up entirely.