Before opening the article, let me guess, based on the title: 1) United-Statian author, 2) calling himself a “venture capitalist” or similar, 3) babbling what boils down to “leave teh hand of teh free market alone!11one”, 4) criticising data and/or privacy laws that left USA corporations pissed.

Websearch + the article itself show that #1, #3 and #4 were accurate. I couldn’t find info on #2 but I’m still calling it “bingo~”.

Shit like this is a dime a dozen in “Hacker” News. It boils down to disguising vested interests as interests of the European population, so it exerts pressure over their governments. I’m not even European but I can’t help but say “cut off the crap”.

Now, on the article itself… time for scatology. For succinctness I’m quoting only the start of each paragraph, and numbering them.

In June, Apple announced a new product […]
The company said […]

Apple’s market strategy is product tying. It’s an abusive and unfair practice, so the DMA legislates it out. Apple however can’t work without it so it decided that selling its junk in Europe wouldn’t be profitable. That’s it.

Why it’s unfair: easier shown with an example. Let’s say that Apple sold apples, OK? Apple would design its apples in such a way that you can only eat them with Apple apple forks and knives, after being peeled with Apple apple peelers. If you manufacture peelers, forks or knives, well… you’re screwed, unless you have the necessary capital to replicate all that vertical tying. And if you do it Apple will sue you. :)

Why it’s abusive: because it artificially restricts customer choices and agency. So you want to bite your way into the apple? If it’s an Apple apple, Apple tells you “fuck you, you can’t do it, use an Apple apple peeler and eat it with Apple apple fork and knife”.

Vestager’s statement is ridiculous […]

What’s ridiculous is the feigned stupidity of the author, pretending to not understand that the absence of a huge and customer-hostile player in a market allows smaller players to flourish, and compete among themselves.

The economist Albert Hirschman […]

The author’s rhetoric here is disingenuous: instead of backing up his implicit claim that Apple leaving is bad, he opts for a “nooo, those aren’t just muh words. They’re of some authority” (fallacy of appeal to authority), that ultimately lead to a circular reasoning (yet another fallacy): “Apple leaving is bad, thus DMA bad, because DMA doesn’t let Apple to go rogue, and Apple leaving is bad”.

Apple’s decision isn’t the first time […]
Adult sites are blocking users […]
If that seems far-fetched […]

Let’s ask the question: is the DMA poorly designed? The author doesn’t back this up either, he simply treats it as a matter of fact, as if the readers were gullible cattle eager to be herded.

Look at the pattern in the examples: with two major exceptions, all examples being provided are from the GAFAM, five big monopolies that screech at any legislation preventing them from crushing the competition, and known for their anti-competitive practices. But apparently the reader is supposed to “chrust” the author that GAFAM leaving Europe alone is “bad” for European markets. …right, just like my cat leaving my furniture alone would be bad for the furniture, right?

The two exceptions are worth exploring:

Numerous technology firms have left China due to the power the Chinese Communist Party exerts over foreign corporations.

It’s an odd example, isn’t it? So far the author is mentioning specific legislation, but now suddenly vaguely referring to CCP’s power, as if they can’t be arsed to mention the specific law that is, accordingly to him, making those tech firms leave.

Until you remember a fallacy known as “argumentum ad hitlerem” (“Hitler ate bread, thus bread bad”). The author is not trying to convince you through rational means, but instead trying to provoke an emotional reaction, with the words “China” and “Chinese Communist Party”. (BTW you might know this specific subtype of ad hitlerem as “red scare”.)

Adult sites are blocking users in a variety of U.S. states over age verification laws.

The author shot himself in the foot with this example.

Those adult sites are doing so because it’s problematic when personally identifiable information is required to watch porn, given that porn is considered immoral by plenty other people.

In the meantime, the GAFAM monopolies beloved by the author are often pissed… because of European laws protecting privacy. Such as the GDPR. Oopsie~

Perhaps the GAFAM leaving would be a public good for Europeans.

Or consider the recent charges the EU levied against X. [SIC - Twitter/Xitter] […]
These charges are absurd. […]

Yes, it is deceptive and the author is going into a huuuuge Chewbacca defence to justify it. That blue check basically tells “chrust dis account!”, when any muppet can get it by paying eight bucks a month.

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As the author is grasping at straws, I’m not too eager to finish the text. /me yawns Can’t be arsed.

I hope that this scatological autopsy was useful or at least entertaining for anyone here.