It is also caring for oneself/ their own wellbeing and sanity.
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rekorse@lemmy.world 2 years agoIf it was drug use wed call this enabling. Family shouldn’t get a pass to be dick bags.
NellyAdagio@discuss.tchncs.de 2 years ago
Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
I don’t feel I’ve given them a pass. I feel like I’ve set boundaries where I can tolerate/ enjoy their presence without being subjected to their hateful or stupid beliefs. It was a difficult decision for me and I seriously considered not having a relationship with them at all for a long time. But I’d miss out on time with my baby nephew, my elderly gran and my siblings who all live near my parents (the main culprits) and I decided that the relationships were more important to me than winning an argument.
To continue your addict analogy, you might agree to hang out with your addict friend on the condition they come sober and don’t take drugs whilst you’re together. Rather than just saying you take drugs so we aren’t friends now.
The world is rarely black and white.
jpreston2005@lemmy.world 2 years ago
but just like being addicted to a drug, we can’t force them to stop. They have to want to change themselves. And if they don’t stop, what, we’re supposed to cut off our whole family? That won’t stop them from continuing to be hateful, but it will stop us from having a meaningful relationship with our loved ones. All we can do is make our values clear when they attempt to bring up any of their hateful BS, and then move onto something else.
Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 2 years ago
Yup this is where I got to with them. Either I compromise my values to continue having a relationship or we eventually stop talking entirely as I continue to argue with their bullshit. The arguing doesn’t work, even appeals to emotion didn’t make a difference. I struggled for a long time with how these people who I held in such high regard could fall so far. They are just people at the end of the day and fell for the hateful propaganda on social media.