Comment on Why is there so much hate against children here?
notapantsday@feddit.de 1 year ago
I once came across a reddit thread where physical violence against children was seen as a normal and necessary means of parenting. And it was a mature thread in a mainstream subreddit with thousands of responses. This was the consensus and anyone disagreeing was downvoted into oblivion.
kava@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I don’t believe this. You talk about scaring a kid with a belt or flip flop on reddit and everyone will call you a child abuser. Hell, you play a prank on your dog by jumping out behind a wall and they think you’re an animal abuser and should not have pets.
I personally was raised with the occasional threat of physical discipline. Really I only got hit with the belt maybe 4 or 5 times in total growing up, all before the age of ~10. I don’t really see it as that big of a deal. I probably wouldn’t do it with my kids, but also I don’t think it’s traumatic or damages the kid.
I think there’s a fundamental difference between hitting with the belt on the butt just to scare and then actually hitting the kid in anger with intention to cause pain. I think most non-psychopaths, even boomers, would agree with the first and not the second.
Shalakushka@kbin.social 1 year ago
Every study done shows it's harmful either way, however "fine" you turned out.
kava@lemmy.world 1 year ago
From what I understand if it’s done in the first manner it isn’t harmful. This is according to the research I’ve read. The issue is that the majority of times parents hit their kids in anger. So it’s generally advised to just avoid it altogether. Which I more or less agree with. Like I said, I probably won’t use it with my kids.
Shalakushka@kbin.social 1 year ago
What you understand is not consistent with what has been researched. That is to say, it's a belief rather than an understanding.
Peruvian_Skies@kbin.social 1 year ago
I think there's a clear subjective difference between consciously spanking a child as a form of discipline, as a rational decision and with the absolute minimum force required for it to work, and hitting a child as a form of punishment guided by negative emotions. In the first case, you're doing it to improve the child's life in the long run. In the second, you're just being violent towards someone weaker than you because you're the lowest of the low.
It's like the difference between a tasteful nude photograph meant to highlight the beauty of the human body and porn, or between using dissonance in music to create tension and using it because you're a bad composer. There isn't a set of general, objective rules to distinguish the two, but if you see it, you immediately know which one it is.