Comment

Comment on Does anyone *not* love using their bidet?

I don’t mind bidets, though I’ve never installed one, since I can’t imagine they’d be fun to clean.

Here’s the thing, though…I have a system I consider superior to a bidet in pretty much every way. See, I noticed a long time ago that I poop somewhere between 0.9 and 1.1 times per day on average, and I aim to shower at least once per day. I don’t know about you, but I noticed a certain opportunity for synergy there. I call it the PoopShower system (patent pending), and after many years of using it, I don’t feel adequately clean even after using a bidet. So my personal ranking is: PoopShower, (looooong gap), bidet, TP, newspaper, leaves.

source

Sort:hotnew top

macrocephalic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
You waffle stomp?!

source
- themeatbridge@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Not op, but I believe their system involves pooping in the toilet followed by normal wiping and then a full shower. Most of the bulk should end up in the toilet, rendering any stomping unnecessary.
  
  source
  - yiliu@informis.land ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    👆👆👆
    
    source
- Chickens@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Still the funniest word picture the internet has created.
  
  source
havokdj@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I feel like this is more common than people are willing to admit. Thank you for being brave enough to admit what many of us never have before. This is 100% the best method, especially if you have the “hose/faucet” setting on your shower head.

source
13esq@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
I like to shower after I poop, but the timing doesn’t always line up appropriately, especially if you happen to be a bit ill like OP.

And even when the stars align, I still want to use toilet paper first to get the worst of it off.

source
- yiliu@informis.land ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  Definitely TP before shower.
  
  And I dunno. occasionally the timing doesn’t line up, but the vast majority of the time…I can just wait.
  
  source