Comment on Anon has nerdy hobbies
EatATaco@lemm.ee 6 months agoI’m a good looking, personable guy, so my experience is certainly biased by that. Also coming from someone from the us.
But I’ve found you can approach women in most places. The thing is to just not be creepy about it, and learn how to pick up on cues that she is not interested or uncomfortable. And once “no” has been established, still treating them the way you had before.
If, like described in the geentext, you’re claiming you own someone, or you’re fighting with friends over it when noone is even dating anyone, the problem is not with approaching the woman.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Frankly, same, with the difference that I’ve been around women both irl and online who complain about it constantly, so since I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable I stopped. Seems to be around the time the apps came out that it stopped being socially acceptable ime, though I’m not sure that’s the cause.
barsoap@lemm.ee 6 months ago
You mean you’ve been around women who felt comfortable complaining about it around you. Which likely means that they don’t think of you as a creep, and now you think of yourself as one,.
The bad apples won’t care they’re going to continue to creep, the men you’re comfortable with get scared off. Please, for everyone’s sake, both genders and everything in-between and laterally, start to actually talk about how the young’uns are supposed to continue the human race because they sure as fuck don’t seem to have an idea. A mere 20 years ago we could sit in mixed company laughing and groaning during an impromptu “best and worst pickup line” contest, that levity among friends. Levity is serious business re-learn it.
DudePluto@lemm.ee 6 months ago
You still can. The discourse is because a large chunk of the male population doesn’t understand how to do that without being creeps. Don’t be a creep and women will like being around you
barsoap@lemm.ee 6 months ago
How large is the chunk that doesn’t dare do it because they think their behaviour would be considered creepy, even though they’d do perfectly fine? Because that was the case I was replying to, not the overall situation.
If gals want to keep up the overall “don’t talk to me if I haven’t talked to you first” approach, fine, but then y’all gotta start being more proactive with your own pick up skills. And starting pick up line contests yourselves in suitable company, instead of letting decent guys sit there, coming to believe any muscle they move in your presence to be an offence. Thinking they can’t show themselves they start to hide themselves, now they can’t be read properly any more, their intentions might very well still be pure but because something is hidden well anything could be hidden there, and now you’ve got an actual creep on your hands.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 months ago
Tbh some of the complaining was about pretty innocuous stuff, like not pushy or anything (well of course I wasn’t there but sometimes the stories just sound like “normal shooting your shot” stuff. And they likely trust me because I haven’t tried asking them out, at least in part. If I did I bet that’d change right quick haha.