And the “he’s likely the abusive part” is chinese whispers. He told that to your friend. And maybe heard that from his ex who supposedly heard that from her therapist. That’s a long chain. Could be true. Could be his ex manipulating him or being angry, could be him manipulating your friend. Or a misunderstanding.
adespoton@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
I can’t tell if he’s actually bad or not.
You know what? Neither can we.
People don’t tend to be “good” or “bad” but usually just have various strengths and weaknesses. It sounds like this guy has an intense need for external validation, and your friend has an intense need for emotional attachment. As long as they stay as just friends and don’t become codependent, that should work out just fine; he’s probably right that as a romantic relationship there’s pretty much no way this one will work.
And that’s ignoring the “do either of them have abusive or manipulative tendencies” angle. The big thing is that neither of them should depend solely on the other for emotional fulfillment.
rufus@discuss.tchncs.de 5 months ago
TiffanyTeal@lemm.ee 5 months ago
She’s always been very friendly towards him. She tells him he’s cute whenever he posts photos, they talk about nerdy interests, show each other memes, she shows him music that she’s made, and she also comments on his collection of action figures that he’s very passionate about showing to people, as well as asking questions about the fandoms that he’s in. She’s a shy, nerdy woman.
adespoton@lemmy.ca 5 months ago
Sounds like a potentially healthy relationship; I’ve had lots of similar ones on the Internet over the years, usually focusing on special interests. Although if someone tries to make it romantic I mention I’ve got a SO and have no interest in changing that relationship. Never had anyone try to push things further anyway or manipulate me. One of the benefits of the Internet is you can usually just drop the relationship if you need to.