Comment on It helps to set your preferred age range from 18-110 for full coverage

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Paradachshund@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

This is true. I went through a long period of this exact pattern in my early 20s and while some positives came out of it, it also made never feel good enough and like I always had to change things to be better. Nothing was ever enough and it was depressing and exhausting.

I only realized how toxic the pattern has become when I started going to therapy. The therapist pointed out that all of my appreciation towards myself was conditional. I only felt good if condition x/y/z was met, and there were always new condition to make me feel not good enough anymore. He encouraged me not to remove all conditional appreciation, but to try and find an equal degree of unconditional appreciation and love towards myself that wasn’t based on others. Not easy to do, but it made a real impression on me and it changed my outlook, even if I don’t always succeed.

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