Comment on Anon has an asexual gf
hikaru755@feddit.de 2 months agoIf you label a relationship as platonic, that usually serves to make it explicit that there’s no romance or sex going on, yes.
When talking about attraction though, we’re in the context of the split attraction model (look that up if you’re interested), and there, platonic attraction is treated not as the opposite of sexual attraction, but as its own axis for basically saying “how much do I want this person to be my friend”, without saying anything about how much you’re sexually attracted to the person.
If you want to properly reconcile the terms, think about it like this - a sexual/romantic relationship is one where the sexual/romantic attraction between the partners is the strongest force, whereas a platonic relationship is one where their platonic attraction is the strongest force.
I personally actually have a hard time seeing platonic and romantic attraction as separate axes, for me, romantic attraction just feels like an extension, a stronger form of platonic attraction.
stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I guess that explains it, thank you.
Oh yes I’m completely with you on that one, i think… but then I also feel like for me personally sexual attraction is an extension of romantic attraction. It’s all about how you interpret your feelings I guess…
Fosheze@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s a lot of it. Like sex is also just a good way to acheive intimacy with someone you care about.
The big thing for asexual people is how you view people you aren’t already attracted to in other ways. Most people can find people they barely know sexually attractive. For example celebrity crushes or finding a certain porn model hot. For an asexual person that is a foreign concept. I’ve never seen someone and desired to have sex with them because of how they look. It’s not that we don’t know when people are good looking but we don’t really feel anything towards them just because they are. That’s also not to say asexual people never watch porn it’s just that when we do it’s about the act taking place not the people in it.
stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Yeah that makes sense. I’m not sure about sex but I definitely can desire intimacy only based on looks or general vibe so then I guess I actually do feel some kind of romantic attraction separately from platonic attraction.