My mom was a nurse who worked in geriatrics and so one day she came home from work and cooked us a big plate of spaghetti and started telling us about how elderly people with dementia would have no control over their body and would snot on their hands and then rub it on the the handrails in the hallway.

She should talk about how she kept on over and over again touching bare-handed massive piles of gooey green and brown snot while we're all sitting around the dinner table trying to eat spaghetti.