You are always free to host your own lemmy instance. Then you can choose to federate with whoever you want.

If I hosted an instance, I wouldn’t want to host hate speech or weird porn, and it would also be my right to not do so.

I also wouldn’t want to bother moderating a lemmy instance for people I didn’t know, and having to hear their demands for what they want to see/not see. That’s just me, personally and I’m glad there are people out there doing the work for me.

What I’m saying is, if you’re going to interact with a platform with possibly millions of users there’s going to be ground rules, and those take time to agree on. Lemmy is unique in that you can move to an instance that fits you better. I don’t think social media should be monetized, but we can’t ignore they take time and money to run. You have to compromise on somethings sometimes.

Or you can just run your own.