Comment on Why does “come here” bother me so much?

musicalcactus@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

• Saraphim@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  “You’ll see! Just come here!” 80% of the time it’s nothing at all. The other 20% it’s something bad involving blood or damage to our house or something equally awful and devastating. It’s horrible to do the execution walk to see which one I’m going to get. He even once needed stitches and was bleeding everywhere and wouldn’t tell me what he wanted, just that I needed to hurry and he needed a hand. I had to experience the big reveal and see the blood everywhere before he told me he needed a towel from inside the house where I’d just been.

  Even emergencies he won’t tell me. “I’ll see” when I get there. Surprise!

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  • musicalcactus@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    That sounds awful. I dunno. I mean, at the heart of it all, on some level you’re allowing him to continue this behavior by going to him each time. If you don’t go, he has to either keep calling until you give in, or if you don’t give in, he can get pouty about it, yell about it, or eventually come and actually find you.

    If you stand your ground and refuse, eventually he has to change his behavior. But, getting to that point will be very uncomfortable. So the question is, how much do you want things to change? Are you willing to go through that discomfort to get your needs met?

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