Comment

Comment on Why does “come here” bother me so much?

You’re not alone. My wife does this all the time, usually by text, which is even more annoying since we’re always within earshot of each other.

I think it bothers you (and me) because it’s akin to someone ringing a bell for their servant. It doesn’t value your time at all to simply call you over with no context.

Once in a while? Fine. Always? That’s just being disrespectful.

I’ve simply resorted to “what is it?”, “I’m busy right now” or “I’ll come later”, and that usually ends up with a “never mind”, so I know it was never something important enough to stop what I was doing.

source

Sort:hotnew top

bleistift2@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
If your wife is using text instead of talking to you, I would consider that a sign of respect. At least this is why I text people I could just as easily talk to.

Texting is inherently asynchronous. Your wife is telling you, “This isn’t urgent. Read it whenever you get the chance.” If you’re in the middle of something, texting is less obtrusive than if they just started talking with you out of nowhere.

This is just my personal interpretation. Only you can decide if it makes sense in the context of your relationship.

source
- Showroom7561@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  
  If your wife is using text instead of talking to you, I would consider that a sign of respect.
  
  Nah, she’s just super lazy. LOL
  
  She knows I’ll be working, but I have to “come here” because “Can you bring up my water?”… literally just ask me to bring up water and save me two trips and 15 minutes to get back into what I was doing!
  
  It’s a habit that needs to be deprogrammed.
  
  source
  - TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    That’s an assertion of dominance. I would hate it.
    
    source
- Ilikepornaddict@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  For someone outside your home, I would agree with this. But for someone in the house, especially within earshot, I feel it’s the exact opposite. Just talk to me, use your words, and tell me what you want.
  
  source
  - MaxVerstappen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    People being antisocial toward their own spouse getting up voted is a troubling sign.
    
    source
    Blamemeta@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Lemmy is deep internet, we all have issues.
    
    source