Comment on Do you ever worry that you're secretly a psychopath that unknowingly manipulates people around you?
Buffalox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
this includes things like not lying,
Then at least stay quiet. A white lie is OK to not make people sad or offend them if it’s matters of little importance. There’s this thing called being polite. And that includes for instance saying dinner is nice when it isn’t.
I’m guessing you are a bit autistic, i can absolutely relate to what you say, and the above took me decades to learn, and I’m still struggling with it.
snooggums@midwest.social 8 months ago
I find it entertaining that answering questions honestly implies someome has a disorder.
“Why didn’t you like the peas?”
“They were overcooked for my tastes.”
Society: “What a rude jerk, they should have lied to make the person who cooked feel better.”
Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 8 months ago
And the flipside of it is that when you yourself commit to not lying it makes you even more sensitive to noticing when others do it. If I see someone comfortably lying to a 3rd party in front of me then I assume they’re doing the same thing to me aswell. People even brag about situations where they’ve gotten ahead by lying. They’re effectively advertising their untrustworthy personality. Praise is also far more valuable when coming from someone you know to tell the truth. They know I’m not saying it to please but because I mean it.
snooggums@midwest.social 8 months ago
That plus everyone has different ideas of what the ‘right’ things to lie about are and get mad if someone lies about the ‘wrong’ thing.
It is mostly to avoid the conflict of the other personn overreacting to differences in opinion as well.
Buffalox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Obviously it depends, you need to consider the work people have put into something, rudely saying you don’t like it is just that, rude.
If it’s overcooked, they probably know it already. No need to make that comment, unless you like being an asshole.
snooggums@midwest.social 8 months ago
If they don’t ask, I don’t say anything. Asking and being mad about someone not lying to protect your feelings when they don’t praise your effort is rude.
For example, why is the person who knows something is overcooked asking how it is? If I take a bite and don’t eat it, then they ask why, they are being rude by putting me in a situation where the social expectation is to lie.
Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Exactly. I treat others as I want to be treated myself. This means that if I’m asking something I’m expecting an honest answer. If I don’t want to know I don’t ask.