Comment on What is a good, healthy, unhurtful, socially positive way to express anger?
Croquette@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
What works for me :
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I remove myself from the situation that caused the anger.
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I let myself live the anger for a minute or two, or a bit more if needed.
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When the anger is gone, I identify what emotion is the cause of anger. Anger is 99% a reaction to a negative emotion.
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I say outloud to myself the reason of my anger. Otherwise, I feel like the anger is pent-up.
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If my anger was directed at someone, I apologize and explain why I was angry.
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Finally, I reflect on the situation and the emotions I experienced. Sometimes it’s 30 seconds, sometimes it’s a few days, depending on the gravity of the situation. By understanding what caused the negative emotions, I can handle it better in the future.
tygerprints@kbin.social 8 months ago
Usually with regard to the 3rd step, I realize it's a series of smaller frustrations that have led up to the huge angry outburst. One or two things go wrong, OK I can usually handle it. But after that, get outta the way because I'm like an exploding nuclear warhead. I've driven off more than one friend and roommate with my 0 to suddenly 100 rage.
Croquette@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
This is why it is important to learn to identify the smaller frustrations to stop them from building up. Smaller frustrations are easier to deal with, so it is a good idea to take a minute or two to just deal with them right when they happen. It will stop most of the bigger outbursts.
tygerprints@kbin.social 8 months ago
That's very true, smaller frusts are easier to deal with. I usually have to step away from the situation and let myself breathe and try to talk myself out of "catastrophizing" every situation.
Croquette@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Same for me. It works, and I can just vent to myself and move on with my life.
But sometimes, the big outbursts are inevitable considering the context. But that’s life.