Honestly, I’m really tired of this take. Humans are social creatures, it is normal to care about what others think of us and our contributions to the social fabric.

Sure, but if someone started caring about every little thing someone did to them, it would only give the instigators exactly what they want and thus further exacerbating the problem. Some people just need to grow thicker skin. That’s reality.

Would you stay in a community where you were only ever downvoted because ‘you shouldn’t care about votes’? That sounds psychotic, or trolling. If somebody followed a stranger down the street shouting you suck every minute, would you tell them they shouldn’t be caring about that?

100% false equivalence. If you think being downvoted on an internet forum is the same as public disorderly conduct/harassment, you don’t need more forum moderation, you need therapy.

But the phrasing make it sound like people are crazy to care to care at all, when for the majority of human development the opposite is true and you be crazy not to.

No one but you said that. It’s OK to care, but to the level that you’re describing is actually psychotic. People shouldn’t care that much because if you did, then it’ll just be a matter of time before something else that is very insignificant will also bother you. It’ll just be a habitual thing for you at that point. It’s better to deal with your insecurities now before they get worse. It’s downvotes FFS. You’ll be OK, I promise.