Comment on True love
Avicenna@programming.dev 5 days agoPuritan ideals of feminine innocence
I don’t think most people here focus on the gender, it might be you who is doing it either for winning a argument by agitation or it reflects your internal state of reference on the topic. This is not related to gender at all in my perspective.
The main argument is difference in age, mental maturity and compatibility. Younger people, having less experience in life generally will have poorer decision making skills in this regard and are also more easily manipulated by more experienced people. You may oppose such a relation for the same reason you may oppose two people of the same age making kids at the age of 18. Ofcourse if you are their guardian, next natural step is to probe how well they defend their decision and how well informed they are in the potential gains vs losses.
I presume you would be less ok with this if it was 40 vs 16. But any age limit you put between 16 to 19 will be a blanket limit considering the worst possible cases in terms of mental maturity. So being ok for 19 and not for 16 is kind of arbitrary. The only tangible fact here is that 19 is just about the age where your life view really starts to mature where as someone at the age of 40 has had like 10 to 20x more life experience in their mature years compared to you. It creates the same kind of power imbalance that a teacher student has.
Damionsipher@lemmy.world 5 days ago
If years spent as a mature person is a decider of relationship imbalance, should a 60 year old be allowed to be in a management position where 19 year olds are employed? We can play the arbitrary game of “when it’s someone adult enough to not be manipulated”, but to your point, it’s arbitrary. If age is indicative of power, is it the power differential we are actually concerned with? If a white man holds more power in the world by virtue of the world being a racist and sexist place, is it immoral for a white man to date a black woman due to that imbalance of power? What about wealth differentials? Should a millionaire be allowed to date someone without wealth? Should a 19 year old be allowed to take financial advice from someone twice their age? How can we be sure they aren’t being manipulated in their naivety? We have laws that guard against manipulation, exploration, conversion, and fraud. Do you think that age is the best metric for judgement in these types of issues? Should people be vetted for mental capability to engage in any number of acts, rather than using the standard of 18 being adulthood? Is presumed completion of highschool at 18 a reasonable enough metric to establish “educated” or mature, and if not, should we raise the age for involvement in everything from relationships to work, out or even voting to be more directly tested metrics, or older, to say 25, or 30?