Comment on The myth of "consensual" choking
blueamigafan@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I think its come from the fact that teachers are being approached by teenagers and being asked how they should choke someone during sex, because they think its a normal thing everyone does. Not something some consenting people do.
Also there have been several high profile cases of woman being strangled to death and the men getting off with light sentences because they say it was a consensual sex game.
cloudshouter@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
Teachers, who are there to teach, need to then know how to tell the boys about reality, communication, consent, and safe practices. They also need to be backed up by the administration if a patient complains about it.
Ask your partner first and respect what they say. Communicate the whole time if they want to be choked. Choke gently on the sides, not the throat. Do it to yourself first to see how it feels. (with hands, not rope)
I don’t by the “oops, kinky sex” defense. People into way harder stuff don’t have that problem.
mad_lentil@lemmy.ca 3 days ago
Yup. There’s a massive difference between sexy erotic choking and actually throttling someone.
Yes if your partner is into it they will probably say they want it harder, but especially if you don’t know your own strength, you need to know there’s a line you can’t cross.
I wouldn’t recommend serious breathplay unless you actually seek out legit BDSM community, but harm reduction advice here: a “full choke” where your breath actually catches in your throat should not last for more than a second, and then immediately check-in by loosening your grip and looking for a consent refresh.